You won't remember the way I stood in the bathroom late that night in labor with you, fearfully and excitedly gazing up at the moon, knowing I was going to bring you into the world soon and whispering to you "We can do this."
You won't remember the way you looked at me right after you were born, or the way I pulled you up next to my heart and marveled "Hi, baby" in your ear.
You won't remember the way you healed my broken spirit. The way you completed my heart. I was weak before I had you, and you made me whole again.
You won't remember the way I proudly watched you everywhere we went, you were always the most beautiful boy in the room to me.
You won't remember the way you made me laugh with all of the silly things you did, I saw how kind your heart was.
You won't remember the way I would brush the hair off your forehead and the way you'd look up at me. Without any words, our souls could touch and say everything to each other that words couldn't.
You won't remember the tickle fests we had, and how I always cheated so I could hold you close and cover your salty little face in kisses.
You won't remember all the times I went to bed at night and felt such fear being your mother; Am I doing okay? Have I messed up too many times already? Can I be the kind of mother he needs?
You won't remember the way my heart broke and grew a little bigger each time you passed a milestone; watching the sand fall through the hourglass while feeling overjoyed witnessing you expand and grow.
You won't remember the way I would hold your little feet in my hands, imagining how much bigger than my own feet they will one day grow, and how I will have to let you go.
You won't remember, but I will. And I'll hold these memories in my heart for the both of us.
Yvette @ Big Trouble in Little Nappies
This is just beautiful! And so very true.
Thank you Yvette! <3
You my love, have that wonderful yhing some writets have, where there are able to articulate exactly what we all feel but haven't the words. Beautiful post xoxo I am over at http://www.polishedpurposefulpretty.com
This is so beautiful. I think I am going to put it in my baby girls baby book, and change boy to girl of course, and reference the writer 🙂
Hello Jessica, This os so lovely! May I reprint this poem in a local newsletter for The Compassionate Friends (TCF)? I will abide by whatever citation you want, feel free to be specific. I lost my son in 2014, and have had many of these same feelings, and I know it will bless the folks in our local TCF chapter.
Thank you for your consideration,
Leanna Leyes, Zack's Mom and newsletter editor of Central Oregon Chapter of TCF