My little brother was married this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony, with touching words being spoken, promises made, smiles from ear to ear, and new lives beginning.
I kept thinking that even though my brother is 27, I could so easily remember him at 4. The little brother who spent his days fighting super heroes and watching Toy Story was now reading vows to a beautiful bride. The same little boy who used to hide under beds with me, eat grapes with while we watched cartoons, and walk to the bus with me. How does time go by so fast?
It made me think of my own little 4 year old.
I can't even picture Piggie being a man one day and having someone else taking up most of his heart. I suppose I'll be okay with it when the time comes. My mom says right now it's too scary for me to think about, but that as the years go by and you let go bit by bit, it's not so overwhelming when the time comes. She says she's happy that he's found a woman who is going to love him the rest of his life, and I know that's what I'll want for my sons too.
But I can only imagine what she was thinking as she danced with her son on his wedding day. Probably back to the long days when she lived on little sleep, wore her hair pulled back too often, changed diapers tirelessly, rocked her baby boy to sleep every night, and continued to look at him long after he'd dozed off because he looked like an angel. I bet she only thought back on the angel part.
And now as they danced on his wedding day, her son held her close as she cried, like she had done for him for so many years. And I could feel it, his love for her. A love that will never go away. He'll always be her baby; he'll always love his mother. And there's really nothing better than being assured that your son is going to go into the hands of another good person who will love him and care for his well-being as much as you do long after you're gone.
I know I can't fathom this milestone yet, but witnessing my mom and brother this weekend eased my heart. There's a fear that I think a lot of mothers with boys have; that boys go off and leave their mothers while daughters stay close. Yet I know there's a deep love that a son always keeps for his mother. A bond that will always remain, no matter what or where he goes.
But for now, I'm going to relish the fact that I fully have the hearts of two little boys who only want to slow dance with me. At the same time...
These hard years may really be the best of our lives. They're definitely the most full.
Oh Jessica, beautifully written, as always 🙂 This post brought tears to my eyes and I don't even have a son. Beautiful pictures and beautiful words... the boy mama's are going to love this one! xoxo
Thank you Tawnya!! Yeah I can't look at these pics of my mom and brother without ugly crying lol. xoxo
you hardcore cried while writing this and I hardcore cried while reading it. Oh gosh, that day feels so far but I know it's not at all. I hope it's not overwhelming when it happens....congratulations to your brother and your family! The picture of you pulling double time is my favorite picture!
I know, I'm going to keep pretending it's reeeeally far away! It'll never happen lol. Thank you!! And yeah, that dance was both endearing and semi-scary because I didn't know if some part of my body was going to give out at any moment haha.
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
Totally ugly crying and I don't even have boys!
As I read this I thought of my own little brother. He's 22 and I can't imagine the day he gets married. That will be hard. I should forward this to my mom... so she can ugly cry with me.
Your mom is wise though... I think we release them bit by bit. We can't imagine that day because we're not ready for it. One day we will be... it will still be emotional but a different level of emotional.
Thanks for sharing yet another beautiful post.
I know, I seriously couldn't ever imagine my little brother EVER getting married, he's perpetually LITTLE in my eyes lol. Yeah, I think my mom is definitely right on that, she has to be. She says it's an emotional milestone but that she's ready and happy that her children are on their own and doing well in life 🙂
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
I loved this post so much! I'm delighted that you shared it at the #SHINEbloghop. I even shared it with my mom.
Wishing you a lovely day.
oh girl! This is so beautiful and precious. Brought tears to my eyes... And I just talked to MY now five year old boy, it's actually his birthday today!!! I'm feeling all of the feelings right now along with you mama.
Thank you Tabitha!! And oh my gosh, yeah you probably shouldn't have read this since it's your little man's birthday, haha! I hope he had an awesome birthday though!
That photo of you with both boys is too good. Just one to cherish FOREVER.
And I love what your mom says about how letting go bit by bit, makes it easier to swallow what's coming. That's what I imagine.
And even though I have a daughter too, and I'm one of five kids - three girls who stayed a lot closer to mom than the two boys - I do know that's circumstantial. And even though Cassidy left his parents for 3,000 miles and only came back because of me.. I just have to imagine Des won't!
Thank you Tamara! Yeah, her telling me that has helped eased my anxiety a little bit lol. But your comment just made it go back up LOL. The only reason why we live by our family now is because of me. My husband said he could easily and gladly move elsewhere, which now insults me ever since I had my own sons because I'm like "WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, YOU A-HOLE".
SOOOOO PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL!!! Ohhhhh heart tugging and tears!! This post is so lovely!!! I have my little guy next to me right now as he is punching my red heart shaped helium balloon... and I just looked over at him and smiled thinking about what you typed. He is going to be a man one day too. I already pray every single day that God will prepare a special, God loving, amazing and loving wife for him one day. The photos in this post are sooooooo beautiful. Every single one of them. You look absolutely BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS!! I love that family photo you posted on Instagram too!! xoxo
Awww, thank you so much Cindy!! I know, the only thing that would relieve that kind of anxiety is knowing that your child is doing well on their own and loved by someone who truly has their best interests at heart.
Okay, this for sure made me cry. I was thinking about this the other day and about how one day I'm not going to be his favorite woman. It made me so sad! And I'm sure it does help letting go a little at a time, but I'm definitely going to cry a ton when the day finally comes!
Me too Chelsea, he'll probably be dragging me down the aisle by his ankles one day because I'll refuse to let him go lol
Tiffany @ Wife.Mother.Teacher.
Awww! This post just melts my heart. Its amazing to think that in just a few short years our little boys will be men. 🙂
I know!!! Complete craziness and I refuse to think about it lol
Tiffany-A Touch of Grace
Ugh. Big ugly tears falling up here. Love the photos, love the words, love you. I so wish I had my little brother around still. What an awesome day for you as a big sister.
Off to listen to some Sarah M.
Ugh Tiffany, I can't imagine losing my little brother 🙁 I hate that so many life milestones were taken from your family, at the very least he is in a better place.
Sarah @ GlamGranolaGeek
Such heart warming words and thank you for putting these tough years in perspective so beautifully. (She types out one-handed as a three year old attempts to scale her while shouting PIANO BUM! over and over and a 1.5 yr old whines and clutches her collar) 🙂
Thank you Sarah! Hahahahaha and I'm typing this as I nurse my toddler to sleep in bed while my preschooler has his head jammed in my back.
You always write so beautifully. Thanks for this story. It makes me scared for both of my babies (girl and boy) leaving home. It's unimaginable. I like how your mom says we will accept it gradually and eventually we will be ready to let them go. I sure hope so... Makes me sad and teary thinking about this. 🙁
I know, so unimaginable right now. And sorry, I didn't intend to be so sappy but I guess weddings have a way of doing that to people!
Love this so much. I don't even have a son and this made me feel all the feels. Those pictures are just so beautiful, too!!
Thank you Meg <3
Stephanie @ Mommyzoid
You hit the nail on the head, Jessica! I'm crying my eyes out. The part about daughters staying close and sons going off is totally how I feel and I am so happy I'm not the only one. But I'm reassured that my husband is still close to his mom adores her. I guess you just have to be confident that you're guiding them to find the right partner that will love them just the way they are. I love this so much! I needed a good cry!
Stephanie @ Mommyzoid
So very true Stephanie! My mother-in-law has 4 boys and they're all still around for the most part, even if she goes several days without hearing from them. But it IS reassuring to see your husband firsthand always keep his mother in his life.
This made me cry too! I have a 22 and 12 year old sons. This hits home for me I love them to pieces and can't even imagine when that day will come. I just want to keep them so close to me. But I know it will come, it will come. I love your blog. I check in every day.
First of all, I'm so flattered that you love my blog and check in every day, your comment just made my night! Secondly, yes...the day will come, and hopefully it won't be too painful for us! Hopefully we'll have been prepped by life and other milestones so it won't feel so overwhelming!
Jessica I totally just sobbed too....awwww
My "baby" brother getting married was the best day and yet I cried like a baby too lol
Hard to imagine our babies will soon be all grown up. This is beautifully written!
I'm sorry!!!! Lol me too, I used multiple tissues during parts of his wedding. I can't imagine our babies ever being this age but I know it'll all be here before we know it!
Lydia @ Thrifty Frugal Mom
What a beautiful post! And one that moved me deeply. I'm in the "trenches" of motherhood right now, and this was just what I needed to refocus.
I like how you said, "These hard years may really be the best of our lives. They’re definitely the most full." So, so true.
Yes, I'm right there with you Lydia! I needed this too because it's so easy to get wrapped up in the negative and hard side of things but it definitely helps to take a step back and look at things from a bigger perspective. It doesn't make it any easier to survive the day to day but it does help me to be more grateful for the season I'm in! Thank you so much for your comment xo
This is beautiful. Again, you've brought tears to my eyes, and I don't even have a son! I can imagine though, many years from now when my sweet child/children get married how I could feel like this.
Thank you Alycia!! And yes, me too!!
Aww, man, Jess! Now I'm crying. It's the same with girls, I suppose. I'll feel the same way when my sister gets married one day. And Charlotte. Can't even go there mentally. Absolutely so beautiful!
Yeah, same thing with girls too I'm sure! Any child that grows up and leaves the nest! I can't and WON'T go there mentally lol. Thanks girl.
HOLY CRAP JESSICA!! I wasn't ready for that, nor was my keyboard. ::sobs::
Beautiful post, keep slow dancing with those babies.
Thank you!!!! And I'm sorry I came at you like that with no warning lol
Ailee | Snapshots & My Thoughts
This is so beautifully written and it made me cry!! I love all of the photos too! xo
Thank you so much Ailee!! xo
Life Breath Present
Wonderfully stated. I don't really think of the future quite yet, though I do hope that I'll be open through whatever happens. I don't know what it'll be like, especially as I grew up in a family of girls. But, I do feel good knowing that there are other little boys and my hope is that as my sisters and I (have more) and watch our children grow, the unbreakable bond between all of us will help us to be strong and keep our children safe 🙂
Thank you! 🙂 And that's so nice, sometimes I wish I had a sister so I could experience that bond!
This is such a sweet post! I have a little brother I adore...and now I have a son who is technically old enough to be thinking about marriage in the coming years. Reading this brought tears to my eyes as I can just imagine that special day.
Oh man, you're getting close! It will definitely be a special day, I'm glad you liked this post <3
Reading this again...I just love this.
I don't have any sons (but I do have brothers), but this still makes me tear up a bit.
Thank you Emily <3