My heart has been so heavy recently. I've been in a bad parenting funk and I'm attempting to hit the reset button. It's probably because I am burnt out from two and half weeks in North Carolina without Luis' help and without our normal routine, but I just feel like I have zero patience. I have patience until like the fifth fight the boys will have and then I lose it. They're in a phase of fighting over toys. Piggie, my 3 year old, always wants what Dacky has, and it's like this horrid repetitive cycle all day long. Once I finally have one argument settled, another one starts.
I just feel like a failure and like I've fallen off the "I'm-actually-trying" mommy wagon. I'm not trying, I'm just yelling. And I feel like I'm ruining Piggie, because he gets the blunt end of the stick since he's "older", even though he's only three. So I've been reading one of my favorite parenting sites, ahaparenting, to try and see what I can do differently.
This blog. It's always been so cathartic for me to write out my feelings and thoughts and even better that I can do it here with other moms who understand everything.
That's it's the holiday season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holidays with little children is so magical. And this year we're going to take the boys up to Williams, Arizona to ride the Polar Express! You get on the train at night in your pajamas like in the movie, drink hot chocolate and meet Santa who gives you a present. Eeeeek!
This month I plan on finishing painting my hallway and the living room. I will finally be rid of all brown walls in my house! And I'm sure more bad blood will ensue between Luis and I because he loved living in a cave and despises me for bringing the light in.
American Horror Story. I loooove this show!! I'm only on season three, but I look forward to turning it on every day after the kids are in bed.
GOALS FOR THIS MONTH:
- Focus on my boys and improving my mothering
- Finish painting hallway
- Paint living room
- Take cabinet doors off above fridge and style
- Clean out pantry
- Read my "reset" books every night
- Be with my family