I’m sure none of us would disagree that spending time alone with ourselves is always beneficial, although many might argue that they can’t find the time or that they manage fine without it. I think neither are true; we can find the time and we need to find the time, because like a car that has begun to swerve out of control while speeding down the road, we too will eventually crash when we’ve ignored our inner selves for too long. Here are 6 benefits for spending time alone and also some tips for how to make the most of your time.
1. A chance to relax.
Our world is so fast-paced and everyone is constantly doing something, that we forget how truly necessary it is to just relax. Your body needs it and your soul really needs it! When we relax by ourselves in a quiet place, it allows our body and mind to unwind, which is exactly what we need in order to let go of conscious as well as subconscious stress we accumulate throughout the day.
2. The ability to think clearly.
You know how so many people will turn their radios off in the car when they’re trying to follow driving directions and it seems to not make any sense because sound shouldn’t affect your ability to think? Well it does. Noise and the hustle and bustle of every day life makes it hard to just think. And thinking clearly without any distractions is something we need to be able to do every day in order to remain healthy and happy.
3. Discovering your true feelings.
We are always in a constant state of becoming; always working to better some aspect of our lives. When we ignore the way we’re really feeling on the inside about stressful situations, conversations we’ve had or plans and goals we’ve made, we lose touch with the one aspect of our ourselves that has the ability to soothe and reassure us. When we’re alone with ourselves, we finally get the chance to think about how we’re really feeling about things going on around us. We can be honest with ourselves and face our biggest insecurities, and once we do that, there’s nothing left to be afraid of. We work things up in our head all day long, so we need time at the end of the day (or the beginning) to release these worries or stressful feelings and remember that everything is going to be okay.
4. Find solutions to our problems.
Being able to think clearly as well as getting in touch with our true feelings helps us to find solutions more easily because we know exactly what we need and want to do to solve something we’re facing.
5. Revise plans & goals.
Goals can change by the week, and sometimes by the day. We’re always evolving and refining ourselves, and that means our goals too. You might state a certain goal one month, and then view it differently the next month; it may need revising, rewording, re-strategizing. Without doing this, it’s very easy to lose sight of your goal completely. Being alone with yourself gives you the opportunity to check in with your progress and any true inner desires you have surrounding your goals.
6. Reboot your mindset.
If you’ve been stressed, upset, depressed, worried, or just in a negative funk that you can’t seem to shake off, alone time gives you the chance to take some deep breaths and turn yourself around. Having alone time, depending on when you have it, can alter the day ahead of you if you spend time with yourself in the morning or the following day if you spend your alone time at night. It can make literally all the difference in the world!
Some Tips
Schedule it. All you need is around 10 minutes a day. Anyone can come up with 10 minutes a day. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Are you most overwhelmed in the mornings or after a long day? These questions can help you decide when it’s the most beneficial time for you personally to schedule alone time.
Turn off distractions. Put your phone on silent, turn off the TV, make sure your kids are occupied or sleeping…just try to set it up to where nothing and no one is going to interrupt you for at least 10 minutes.
Journal. You don’t have to be a writer in order to journal. And you don’t have to make some formal journal entry or write every day. It does help every so often to write down how you’re feeling, especially if you’re stressed or confused about something. It’s amazing the things you’ll find out about yourself when you let yourself write freely. There’s a true inner you that knows exactly what you want and what you need, and that inner you will come out during journaling! Make a writing prompt at the top of the page such as “How am I feeling right now” to get yourself started.
Write down your goals. I cannot stress enough how important it is to write down your goals and to continuously reread them. Goals give you a direction and purpose, and they make life more exciting! Goals can also change quickly, because you are constantly evolving, so you may find that you need to revise your goals every so often so that they still excite you. And if they don’t, then you know to toss them and write some new ones.
Reassess. And in continuing with the above, take this alone time to reassess your goals and what you want. This could change as frequently as daily or weekly, but you won’t know unless you take the time to be with yourself and reassess what you’ve written down. I have an amazing planner that I bought on Amazon, The Inner Guide (affiliate link), and it gives spaces every single week to rewrite my goals and plans, and also an area of intention for the week that I want to focus on. I actually look forward to each week because constantly reassessing and writing down my new areas of focus and goals is so inspiring. SexeDate.ch I’m a much happier person because of it.
I hope you found some of these tips useful! Do you take time for yourself on a daily basis?
deliberatemom
As you know, I regularly take time for myself every day. I pray, I read my Bible, I meditate, and I journal! It's so important to my well-being and it gives me such clarity and focus. Seriously, on the days I skip it, I am a mess and completely overwhelmed. I treasure my alone time and I do it first thing in the morning. If I need to decompress, I do it before bed too.
Thanks so much for sharing. I find posts like these so affirming, motivating, and inspiring.
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
My recent post Household Management: How to Budget Your Time Wisely
Cindy Hasko
Amen! Amen! and Amen! Great post. TRUE!! Also, I LOVE planners and journals. I have a crush on pretty journals. I want to buy every single one. I don't, but I want to. lol. Also, did you do a blog hop last week? I don't think people know to go INTO your post to comment and/or link up. Your page loads so different now. By the way, I am soooo behind in the blogging world. PLEASE do not think that I am ignoring you. ...'lots of love to ya! big xoxo 🙂
My recent post My cute and girly Target finds, along with lovely homemade soap bars that a talented lady makes.
Meg O.
Great post! It's hard to really have some "alone time," especially when alone time is after the kids go to bed and then I have to do XYZ! Ten minutes a day is a great goal to have and schedule.
My recent post 20 Healthy Snack Ideas for Breastfeeding Moms
Jaime Buckley
Great article Jessica. Beautiful point of view.
If more of us would spend some alone time to "align ourselves" I think we'd be a great deal happier as a whole.
My own day starts between 3 and 4am.
Being a dad of 12, it's not easy to find a quiet time or space--especially when I work at home as well--so the early hour is important...and I'm STILL trying to beat my own early riser kids (5am). Hehe.
The morning is spent in spiritual pursuits, which includes pondering, going over goals (as you mentioned--ALways a great idea) and also journal writing. I keep a daily journal (have for years) and a new daily event journal where I am writing down what I discover and appreciate about my wife each day. (shhh...don't tell her, BTW--it'a a present for our 25th wedding anniversary this year)
I enjoy the time to have a hot drink and ponder about how I affect others. If I'm doing well (or not so well) as a dad, as a husband...how I'm blogging and uplifting others.
The ket here is to charge yourself (or in many instances RE-charge yourself) for the day. Taking that personal time makes all the difference in the world, not only for you--but for those around you.
Monica
I can never get enough alone time. I need an entire month in solitude to catch up! Love the car crash metaphor in the first paragraph. I can definitely relate to that when I don't get enough time to myself. Lately, I seem to spend that "alone time" sleeping... haha Does that even count? Yesterday, I made a point of taking a shower... by MYSELF-- No kids. LOL It felt great.
My recent post How Co-Sleeping Soothed My Teething Baby
tiffanyatouchofgrace
I LOVE the new look! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Congrats for being transferred to WP!!! You're going to love it if you don't already. 🙂
I LOVE this post too! I'm reading the book called "The Compound Effect" by Darrin Hardy and he emphasizes writing things down and sticking to them. If you don't right it down it's just a dream and can never become a reality. Alone time is so important, especially for us mamas.
My recent post Weekend Rewind: The one where the Hawks lost SB49
deliberatemom
As you know, I regularly take time for myself every day.
I pray, I read my Bible, I meditate, and I journal! It's so important to my well-being and it gives me such clarity and focus. Seriously, on the days I skip it, I am a mess and completely overwhelmed. I treasure my alone time and I do it first thing in the morning. If I need to decompress, I do it before bed too.
Love this post and I'm loving the look of your blog. I've already caught myself saying, ooooh, I like that feature and "oooh, look at how she did that!" LOL
Thanks so much for sharing. I find posts like these so affirming, motivating, and inspiring.
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
My recent post Household Management: How to Budget Your Time Wisely
Jessica
Me too Jennifer! It's really amazing what a difference it makes. And thank you! I still have a million things I want to do to the blog, but I know you know how that goes lol. It's a neverending list!
stephanierobertson
I love love love my alone time! On Sundays I map out our week and I figure out what nights of the week would work best for be to go to the gym. I NEED that time alone to reset so I can be the best version of myself!
Thanks for these tips
Jessica
Very smart Stephanie, I like that idea of mapping the time out at the beginning of the week! I agree, I have to do the same!
Annie Reneau
Okay, I am totally DROOLING over that InnerGuide planner. I'm a planner geek, although I never end up using any of them as much as I know I should. That one looks great, though.
My recent post What Our Kids Can Learn from the Seahawks’ Super Bowl Loss
Jessica
Oh you would LOVE IT. I love this one because it's so inspiring and so detailed with all of the goal planning and reflections every week and month. It's my baby!!
Alycia L.
First of all, I have to tell you again, I love your new look!!! So classy!!
I love this post!! I really need to take these tips and put them into action! I find it so difficult to get "alone" time everyday. Between working full time as a nurse, coming home to make supper, play with Palmer, clean up, I am exhausted at the end of the day, hence why I don't have too many new posts lately!!!
Jessica
Thanks Alycia! And I totally understand. I feel the same way and I'm a SAHM. I don't truly get a chance to be alone until late at night after the kids are in bed and I've picked up the house, etc. And then I'm also exhausted. Aaaand I totally skipped writing a post last night...I just didn't have the energy. I'm still disorganized and preoccupied with the blog transfer and the issues that came with it. So I get it!!
bestofbabylady
I am without a doubt a better wife and mom when I've had alone time. Whether it's just time reading my Bible, going for a walk, or even just piddling around on the internet...it really is beneficial...and not just for me, for everyone!
Jessica
Totally agree! Me too!
Jessica
Thank you!!!! I am seriously LOVING it. Minus the fact that my comments didn't transfer over yet, which I'm still trying to salvage. Ooooh that book sounds good, I'm going to look it up! And YES so true, I never knew the power of writing my goals down until I started doing it and seeing the quick results! It's really crazy!
Jessica
Hahaha I hear you. I totally feel that way about sleep, and it's hard for me to NOT use my alone time to sleep. It's a hard choice for us moms lol. Ahh, a shower alone is the best thing in the world lol.
Jessica
You inspire me!! It's hard enough to find alone time in a house of 4, I don't know how I'd do it with more people than that! And I think the wedding anniversary present is so AWESOME and thoughtful, your wife will be on cloud nine. Thank you for your comment, I really enjoyed reading it, so inspiring and positive.
Jessica
Yes, totally understand what you mean! I like the goal of 10 minutes because it's totally doable, even for us busy, exhausted parents! And SO worth it!
Jessica
I can just imagine how gorgeous the pages are of your planners and journals with your artwork!! I also have a crush on pretty journals. My Inner Guide journal isn't girly like I normally prefer them, but the inside was so amazing that I went for it anyway. I actually quit my blog hop 🙁 I think I wasn't enjoying it anymore and my other posts were bringing in much more traffic, as opposed to a few months ago when my blog hop was my biggest traffic bringer. I know, I've missed you in blogland! Also, seriously thank you so much for that Christmas card. It was the most heartfelt one I received and I loved it so much.
Cindy Hasko
Jessica ~ Thank you SO much for your beautiful words and compliments. They mean so much to me, more than you know. I was happy and excited to send you a Christmas card. I love snail mail so much and I thought it would be perfect to reach out and send one to you. Funny you say that = I actually have a journal I started for my son from day one of his life and I decorate inside of it and on each page. I draw the super hero's and etc, I write down all the funny and cute things he does and says by age,... I will give it to him one day 🙂 I totally understand about the blog hop. Everything has a season. I would have done the same thing if I felt that way. No point in forcing it. I agree with you. Also, your new WordPress site looks so awesome!! Everything looks so wonderful!!! I am so happy we are blogging friends. 🙂 xoxo
Crunchy, Crafty, and Highly Caffeinated
YES! I need to get better at taking some me time and stepping away from all devices! I really need to start journaling...I always just feel so silly for some reason!
irkedmommy
You are so right about the benefits of alone time and I am going to have to follow some of your tips to make sure that I get some. Right now, I don't get nearly enough.
Thanks for linking up at the #SHINEBlogHop!
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Kristy
I totally am with you on this! I need to get better at turning off and tuning out distractions. I swear I became ADD when I had Charlotte. I also need to start writing my goals down more. I love how you do a monthly goals post. I need to start writing them down so they can be realized. I'm a firm believer in writing things down and believing it will happen. Love this!
Julie S.
Alone time is soo important, and such a hard thing to get these days heh. Great post!
My recent post Pumping Bag Essentials for the Working Mom
Angela
Great metaphor in the beginning with the swerving car and I can testify that you are so right. It was actually finding time alone for myself to write again for the first time in 20 years that brought me back in control of all the chaos and avalanche of emotions that was overtaking me.
My recent post Speaking Up for the Defiant Headstrong Child
Tamara
How strange - this JUST showed up in my feed. Bloglovin was failing me! Glad I'm here now.
My husband and I talk about true alone time a lot. Time alone with one another, and time alone.. alone. To journal and meditate (I just started!) and think of dreams and of course, to think clearly. And often, I fall asleep too but I love that.
You do have to schedule it too, in these days of work and spouses and kids.
Jessica Dimas
Ugh no, I JUST noticed that ever since my transfer several weeks ago that my blog transfer has messed with my bloglovin account, so they made me a new one and transferred all my followers there. Can't believe I didn't notice I wasn't getting any traffic from bloglovin like usual!
And very true about the alone time, definitely has to be scheduled when you're a wife and mom.