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Home » Parenting

Self-Care 101 for Highly Sensitive Moms

Published: Feb 14, 2016 · Modified: Aug 2, 2016 by Jessica Dimas · This post may contain affiliate links · 15 Comments

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Self-care 101 for highly sensitive moms - why you need to practice it and the benefits that you'll gain from it

This post could really be for any mom, so don't worry if you don't identify with being highly sensitive; all moms need to have a self-care routine!

I'm writing this especially with highly sensitive moms in mind because I think, for myself at least, daily down time and self-care is almost crucial for my survival. I'm not a good mom if I'm not able to wind down in silence at least once during some part of my day. If you're wondering what makes someone highly sensitive, you can check out this questionnaire.

You might be highly sensitive if...

  • Loud sounds, bright lights, coarse material, and strong smells haunt your soul
  • You've got a rich, complex inner life going on
  • You pick up on subtleties in your environment, like people's moods and body language
  • It stresses you out to have too many things going on at once
  • You find relief when you get a chance to be alone after a stimulating day
  • You don't like being observed while doing a task

For me, it can seriously drain, overwhelm or irritate me if:

  • I have too many activities planned
  • I have to leave the house too many times in one week for said planned activities
  • I'm wearing clothing that isn't soft or doesn't fit well
  • I don't get a chance to tend to that inner life I've got going on in my head
  • The kids have tantrums in public because I feel like all eyes are on me
  • I don't get to be alone at least once a day
  • The kids are being loud, even if they're happy
  • TVs are on too loud
  • Too many lights are on in the house

If you're a sensitive person, and a mom on top of that, I believe it's almost crucial that you get down time every day to re-set from all of these type of mom scenarios that happen pretty much daily. With kids, there is no place to escape sometimes. In order to put on your best mom face, you HAVE to take care of YOU.

Why is self-care so important?

Regular self-care is not a luxury that's only afforded to those who have time. EVERYONE has time, and if you think you're too busy to make time, your body will force you to make time later on down the road. Regular self-care doesn't have to last more than 10 minutes a day, but the benefits of taking that time and using it wisely will have enormous positive impacts for your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental health.

Benefits of regular self care:

  • Daily self-care lowers your stress levels, which means a healthier body
  • Declutters your mind
  • Resets your emotions
  • You get to know yourself
  • Improves your confidence and state of mind
  • Achieving inner peace

People who work out daily or several times a week will say that when they don't work out, they notice such a difference in how their bodies feel. Well that's how you'll feel after you get into the habit of taking time for yourself every day; when you go a day or two without it, you'll feel the mental and emotional clutter start to pile up.

What self-care is not

For some strange reason, there are people who hear the world "self-care" and feel like it's going to be a chore. I can hardly identify with these people because it's truly one of the highlights of my day, but self-care should not be seen as anything close to a chore.

Self-care is not...

  • Doing anything you dread
  • Doing anything just because you feel like it's what you're supposed to do
  • An occasional, rare activity
  • Selfish

Self-care looks different for everyone. I personally need to write in order to release my thoughts and emotions, but not everyone does. My husband needs to run and do vigorous physical activity to feel stress release, and I definitely don't enjoy either of those things!

What do you love to do?

It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary. - Mandy Hale

Ideas for self-care

The possibilities are truly endless. Everyone is unique and has different tastes, desires, and goals. Here are just a few ideas for self-care activities:

  • Read books you love
  • Journal
  • Meditate
  • Listen to music
  • Create - write, paint, draw, photograph, play music, sew, carve, etc.
  • Move - yoga, dance, run, walk, have sex, play a sport, lift weights, hike, climb, garden, etc.
  • Reset - watch a sunrise/sunset, enjoy a cup of coffee, turn off all electronics, do a guided meditation, write down what you want, think of 10 things you're grateful for, create and repeat affirmations, etc.
  • Pamper - do your nails, shave your legs, buy new makeup, do your hair, wear clothes that make you feel good, wear your favorite perfume, eat whole foods that make you feel good, exercise, fall in love with your body, go on a date with yourself, etc.


Create a sacred space

I think this is suuuuuper important for moms with young children. Our bodies and space are pretty much extensions to our children in their eyes. They usually like to be with us and on us for much of the day. Moms need a special place of their own where they can refill their well.

I shared a glimpse of my space the other day on Instagram:

I've actually been re-decorating my room to accommodate my "mommy tranquility space". For me, a tranquil space has soothing colors, soft lighting, cozy fabrics, a relaxing aroma, and peaceful sounds. And something living; I love succulents because unlike flowers, they don't die within a week and they're easy to maintain. They improve the quality of air and they bring a touch of nature to your space.

Sacred space accessories:

  • Soft lighting - candles, string lights, cozy lamps
  • Essential oil diffuser
  • Succulents
  • Comfy bedding
  • Inspirational decor
  • Meditation sounds app - I use and love this one. My settings: relaxation isochronic tone, rain on the roof, & brown noise.
  • Relaxing music- Enya anyone?

Create a self-care routine

I go into this a lot more in my book Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom, but in a nutshell self-care is really simple: take time out alone to do things you love doing or that help you re-center. You can spend 10 effective minutes re-centering, a few hours, or any amount of time in between.

What you do during this time is what will make the difference or not: sometimes it's nice to just veg out and scroll through our phones or binge watch tv, but in order to really connect with yourself and see a difference in your emotions and life, I think it's really important to do some type of activity that helps you let go of stress, rather than just ignore it.

Some suggestions for making the most of your self-care time:

  • Pick a time of the day that works best for you with where you are in motherhood (life with a young baby looks different than life with a preschooler who sleeps through the night, etc). My kids wake up early and I'm also a night owl, so mornings don't work for me. I do my self-care time at night after my kids are in bed.
  • Turn off electronics and notifications
  • Work on yourself: read books that help you grow. I've been doing this workbook every few nights and it has been truly transformative.
  • Guided meditations are amazing: I love guided meditations because our minds and bodies don't know the difference between our current reality and the one we're imagining in our heads. You can get instant relief and peace from a guided meditation. This one is one of my favorites. Not to mention, by following the steps in this meditation, you will begin to see changes in your life, which is the most awesome part about it.

Don't stress out over what you should do, just allow yourself to be drawn to whatever grabs your attention. If you don't like doing something, don't do it. Once you spend enough time with yourself, you will begin noticing what you're drawn to. Start with what you most need in life. If you don't know what you want, write down what you don't want, and then the opposite of that. Pick a starting point, and then follow the crumbs on that delicious trail.

I created this 2-page Self-Care 101 quick reference for you to keep. I share on there my own nightly self-care routine to give you an idea of how I spend that time!

Self-Care 101 for Moms

Do you have a self-care routine? I'd love to hear about it!


Jessica Dimas is the author of the book "Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom." Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to stay updated with future posts.

Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom

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About Jessica Dimas

Jessica is the author of the book "Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom". She is a Huffington Post contributor and has been featured on sites such as Scary Mommy, FamilyShare, and BlogHer. She has a BA degree in psychology and lives in NC with her two boys.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chelsea @ Life With My Littles

    February 15, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    This is such an amazing post, and seriously it's exactly what I needed right now! Little J was sick from Wednesday-Sunday last week, and I feel like I'm in such a rut! This is awesome! Self-care is definitely not selfish. You shouldn't feel bad for taking care of yourself! I sat down and colored a picture from my (horribly named) adult coloring book yesterday and it was so nice! And as we plan out how we're going to decorate our new house in May, I am so set on having my own little office space for my work. It makes a big difference!!

    Reply
  2. Tiffany @ A Touch of Grace

    February 15, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    Yes! Taking time for ourselves is SO IMPORTANT! My self-care time is usually first thing in the morning, although I feel like I need a little bit more in the afternoons these days. I love that you set up a space for yourself. That's such a great idea.

    Reply
    • Jessica Dimas

      February 16, 2016 at 1:04 am

      Yeah, I totally need some time in the afternoons. That's when I will guilt-free bust out the their tablets or something so I can recharge some.

      Reply
  3. Tawnya

    February 18, 2016 at 10:35 am

    I love this! My husband is super supportive of me having alone time because he knows I am crazy pants without it. I am definitely all of the above that you described, I didn't realize I was a highly sensitive mom but I guess I am. I mean if I have to leave my house more than once a day with two kids I want to rip my eyes out.... and lets be honest, even once a day is pushing it for me! LOL

    Reply
  4. Tabitha Blue

    February 19, 2016 at 10:22 am

    This is so good and something I'm working on more and more in my own life. I just love that quote you made and pinned it too!! 🙂 XO

    Reply
  5. Meg O.

    February 23, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    Yeah, I definitely need to do more self-care. I hardly have any down time! This is an amazing post with so many great ideas. Definitely going to download the printable!

    Reply
    • Jessica Dimas

      March 02, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      Thanks Meg!! I hope you get some down town in the near future!

      Reply
  6. Pamela List

    February 29, 2016 at 12:39 am

    Truly can relate to this post. I reckon I am a highly sensitive mom/person. oh Lordy.. I honestly feel people think sensitive folks are too high maintenance but I disagree. I feel we get so many things accomplished because we are sensitive and focus on so many OTHER folks' needs.

    Great post

    Reply
    • Jessica Dimas

      March 02, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Yes I totally agree with you Pamela. Now that you mention it, I can definitely recall people telling me multiple times throughout my life that I can be high maintenance, but then again during those times I wasn't very good at taking care of myself. I really like the way you see that though, about being productive because we ARE sensitive. So true.

      Reply
  7. Amanda

    March 03, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Thank you for this article! I am a highly sensitive mom who does not make enough time for self care. However, I embrace who I am and incorporate it daily in my parenting routine. I downloaded your printable and added it to my mommy binder.

    Reply
  8. Catherine @ Ten Thousand Hour Mama

    May 07, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    I judge myself for needing a break by the end of a day with my kids and it's hard to be compassionate toward myself. But everyone needs self-care, especially those of us who aren't as go-go-go as our kids!

    Reply
    • Jessica Dimas

      June 12, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      Yes, don't judge yourself Catherine! I don't know of any mom who truly doesn't need a break by the end of the day, sometimes I need one before 9am! Just remember that you're actually giving to them by giving to yourself first. That helps me to not feel so selfish about it, because they're benefiting from their mother taking care of herself <3

      Reply
  9. Stephanie

    October 24, 2020 at 10:35 am

    OMG everything in this post is me! I thought I was the only one and I just want to say thank you for this post and I hope you have such a blessed life and thank you for blessing mine with this post. Words can't express what this post made me realize and how it instantly improved my thought process on self-care and life in general.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My Nightly Mommy Routine - Pig & Dac says:
    March 5, 2016 at 12:01 am

    […] am a huge advocate for real, daily self-care; especially for moms because we give so much to those around us, we need to replenish the well at […]

    Reply
  2. Friday Reads: Self Care Ideas for Moms - theMomCorner says:
    August 10, 2018 at 10:02 am

    […] Self-Care 101 for Highly Sensitive Mom […]

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