Every mom should have a nightly routine that helps her relax, re-center, and de-stress. Moms give all day long; this is your time to give back to yourself.
I am a huge advocate for real, daily self-care; especially for moms because we give so much to those around us, we need to replenish the well at some point in the day. It doesn’t even have to be at the end of the day, it can be whenever it’s best and most convenient for you to fit it in.
The best time for me is at night, so I’m going to share my nightly routine with you. My goals during this time are to de-stress and re-center.
Part One: The Shower
Low lighting – firstly, I find it very soothing and destimulating to have low lighting while I shower. Spending the day with two little kids is usually nonstop loudness, so a silent space with low lighting just helps me de-frazzle and relax! I use something similar to this, it’s actually a wax burner but I find the lighting is perfect for a bathroom. I usually don’t burn any wax but I just turn the light on while showering.
Oil pulling – I do this every night while showering. Oil pulling is swishing oil (I use this coconut oil) around in your mouth for up to 20 minutes. Oil pulling helps break down plaque, is good for gum health, and is a natural teeth whitener. My teeth no longer feel clean unless I’ve oil pulled before brushing them. It was hard to swish for very long at first, and it was also kind of hard to even chew up the coconut oil in my mouth (it’s in more solid form unless it’s placed somewhere warm), but now it’s really easy for me. I go into a bit more detail about oil pulling in my book about sacred self-care, but basically it’s a great way to detox your mouth and body.
Inspiring audio – I love to listen to something inspiring while showering. It gets me out of my own head and helps me re-center, plus it inspires me! Currently I’ve been on an Esther/Abraham Hicks kick. Esther Hicks “channels” a collective spirit she calls Abraham (very strange to some, I know) and talks a lot about how our thoughts and feelings affect our lives. I think it’s helpful to listen to anything that relaxes, inspires, or motivates you. Anything to get you out of your own head and to a place of re-centering.
Visualization – If I’ve had a particularly long day, I like to envision the shower washing away all the stress and mistakes I made. And every night no matter what, I like to take several deep breaths. We forget to really breathe so much of the day. Did you know that we are designed to release 70% of the toxins in our body through breathing? “When you exhale air from your body you release carbon dioxide that has been passed through from your bloodstream into your lungs. Carbon dioxide is a natural waste of your body’s metabolism.” – (source) Check out all of these benefits of deep breathing, like releasing tension, pain, emotional problems, and strengthening your immune system.
I also do some basic stretching in the shower, just reaching down and touching my toes and rolling back up. It always relaxes my mind and body after I’ve taken some deep breaths and stretched a little bit.
Part Two: In Bed
Low lighting – I keep the theme of low lighting going! I really can’t stand overhead lighting, especially once I’m in a more relaxed, sleepy state. I bought these LED dimmable string lights and these little decorating hooks and hung them up around my bed and then wrapped them around my lamp base, which turned out so pretty! It’s a bit hard to see but here’s a pic:
Journaling/Goals check-in – I think it’s so important to check in with yourself on a daily basis. I will usually journal if I’m feeling conflicted about something, or I’ll fill out one of the worksheets from my law of attraction book, or I’ll simply write a few notes down in my planner. When things are written down, it helps us to feel like things are sorted out so we can go to sleep peacefully.
Reading – I love to read a few pages every night out of an inspirational book. I feel like books that help us grow are so beneficial and to me they’re like air, but reading books of any kind have proven benefits of relaxation. A few really good books I’ve recently read are Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being | The Manifestation Mindset | You Can Heal Your Life | and The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level.
Meditation – I am OBSESSED with guided meditations! Oh my lord do they ever relax and re-center me. I most often use this one by Vishen Lakhiani. It’s 21 minutes long and a lot of times I fall asleep before it’s over, but it’s the BEST guided meditation. It goes over everything we should go over in our minds every single day; connection with all that is, gratitude, forgiveness, creative visualization, intention for the next day, and asking for a blessing from the Universe/God/your higher self/whoever or whatever you believe in.
I recently found these amazing mediations for moms by The Parenting Junkie, and wow are they powerful. There is one for trusting your child, one for a hard parenting day (very therapeutic) and even one for visiting your own childhood (extremely therapeutic).
So that’s my nightly “mommy” routine that relaxes and re-centers me like nothing else can. If you have a nightly routine, what are you favorite parts about it? What really helps you de-stress and let go at the end of the day? If you’re not getting this time at least once a day, I really encourage you to start. You will not believe the world of difference it will make. And most importantly of all, you deserve it. Mothers can’t give their best if they aren’t giving to themselves first <3
Jessica Dimas is the author of the book “Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom.” Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to stay updated with future posts.
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I always journal before bed. It’s the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night. And I love evening showers. I’ve always showered at night but should do it more often with low light. I love that!
I love that! I only journal at night usually but since seeing this comment I keep thinking about what a great idea that would be to journal in the mornings too. It’s like an instant reset button, or an instant centering button for me, that would totally be helpful to do before the day starts.
Showering is always the first thing I do when my kids go to sleep. But I think I need to do more meditation and checking in with myself because about half the time I lay in bed and can’t sleep because my mind is going so crazy!
Oh yes! Journal/check in with yourself and do a guided meditation, helps shut it all down 🙂
these all sound perfect and relaxing!! I’m going to try that oil pulling tonight. i’ve heard of it, but never tried it! I also try to read a bit before bed too. I often fall asleep after a couple of pages, but i feel like it relaxes me much more!
Yeah you should, it really makes your teeth feel 20 times more clean! And yesss, reading before bed puts me right to sleep.
OMG my evening routine looks almost exactly like yours!! I am on the same Abraham Hicks kick for meditation, I try to get one in in the morning too…. And sometimes at night I use the Louise Hay Evening Meditation, which is simply the best. The first thing I also do after putting my 2 boys to bed, is taking a shower and I visualize the same things, just letting go of the stress… I will definitely try the soft lights… ’cause I turn them completely from the moment I can haha…. But it would be better with some LED lights instead of using my phone occasionally… Anyway, I am so happy I ran into your blog !!
Have you ever watched Step Brothers, that scene where they’re like “Did we just become best friends?!” Haha that’s how I feel anytime I find someone who says they also listen to Abraham Hicks. And you have two boys and you visualize and listen to Louise Hay as well…did we just become best friends?! lol! Yes definitely get some LED lights, you’ll love them. I want to get like 10 more boxes of them and put them every where. They’re perfect. Thank you for commenting and I’m so happy you came across my blog <3
I love your ideas for self-care. I’m definitely going to work on incorporating more low-light into my routine. I really think it would help me relax! Thanks for sharing!
During the week what time does your evening routine normally begin? I’m always making excuses for my self and blaming time