It's been almost five months now since Piggie weaned. I haven't allowed myself to think about it much since that time, which is why I haven't written about it.
Piggie was three months away from being three years old when I weaned him. He didn't naturally wean, I chose it for us. Which wasn't my original intention. When I first started out breastfeeding, I envisioned him neatly and effortlessly weaning around the age of two. I knew I'd feel sad when that day came, I just didn't know how much.
But it wasn't effortless. It was messy. There were tears, frustration, sadness...overwhelming, unexpected sadness.
We survived nursing through pregnancy, which brought with it low supply and nursing aversions. We survived nine months of tandem nursing. He shared his number one comfort in the whole world for nine months with his new brother.
Everything about my firstborn has been magical. All of my firsts are with him. I have always had the highest expectations and hopes for him and myself because I will always be a first time mom with him. I will always have an innocent naivety with him that I won't have with my second child. Everything that I learn as a mom, I learn from him in hindsight.
I couldn't go on nursing him. The aversions were taking over my body, making me act like somebody I wasn't. I was hurting him more by trying to continue on. I had put off my mixed, conflicted feelings of guilt and instinct for months, but I finally came to the decision to wean him.
There was a lot of pain in his eyes, and so much pain in my heart when he'd ask to nurse with tears running down his face, lightly and politely tapping my chest while staring up at me. I'd just take him in my arms and hold him, even when he'd push and kick and scream against me. I'd hold and rock him until he'd relax and cry against my chest and tell him how much I loved him.
He still asks to nurse, randomly. Usually when he's not feeling well. He'll also talk about nursing when he's completely happy, like he's recalling a fond memory. But our relationship got so much better after he was weaned. I could hold him and play with him without having to hurt him and say no.
I weaned my baby, and we're doing okay now.
Dorothy
I am in a similar position, needing to wean my boob-addicted 2 year old, and would love to know how you did it.
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Jasmine
I'm an emotional wreck attempting to wean my 2 year old after several attempts. Would love to know how you weaned yours..
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