Recently, I haven’t been acting like myself, and I know you haven’t been acting like yourself. We’re tired. Exhausted. Strained. We’re happy, but we’re being pushed to our limits constantly.You have the weight of supporting a family of four on your shoulders now. You’re stressed. Worried. You come home and there are baths to give and babies to put to sleep. You’re woken up early by an alarm clock if you’re lucky, but usually earlier by a baby that won’t let his mommy sleep.
I’m home all day with two young children. I’m running on little sleep. My body doesn’t feel like it’s mine anymore. I watch the hours go by so slowly, while at the same time feel like I don’t have enough time to get anything done. I feel like a failure as a mother and a woman so many days. Why can’t I handle two kids and have dinner on the table when you get home? I worry that you might wonder the same thing.
I’m sorry for all the times I argue with you. I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you. For yelling and accusing. For assuming the worst in you.
In reality, I’m so thankful for you. For waking up early with the baby. For playing with our children every day. For helping me. For always respecting and supporting my parenting choices. For bending over backwards to give the world to your family.
I know I never mention this to you, but I often fall asleep thinking about the lingering hugs we steal in the hallway. Those hugs, when you pull me in tighter and hold on as if you’ve missed me, tell me that you’re still in love with me. You still want me. We’re still us even amidst this new sweet and chaotic phase of life.
Hurray for having loving husbands! It's funny you mention a punching bag. I once told hubby it would be a great idea (particularly when my nursing aversion was at its worst). About a month later he came home with one he found in a charity shop! How good is the extra 30 minutes in bed or not having to do bath time. Means so much to tag team with each other.
Oh man, nursing aversions are the WORST, I could've totally used a punching bag when I was going through those. And yes, the extra 30 minutes is EVERYTHING, it really does mean so much.
Such a beautiful reminder. "We’re not just a couple anymore; we’re family. You’re my family, my home in a crowded room, and I can’t imagine my life without you." Love.
Thank you so much Angelina <3
I'm on my phone & can't see another way to comment so I'm replying. I had tears brimming through this entire letter. can I please copy this to give to my husband?? You perfectly articulated everything we are going through, experiencing, and feeling. Thank you for writing it how it is with the good and the bad included. You are real without the feeling of pessimism. Thank you a million times!
Yes you can! And yes, I'm glad you could see that I wasn't being pessimistic, it's just a hard period to go through with little ones and feeling like you never have time for one another. Our sons are 3 and 5 now and it's getting so much easier with them both sleeping through the night and also playing together so much; it gets better! Thank you for your comment <3
I absolutely love this!! Exactly how I feel about Mitchell too. Watching Mitch be a dad to our girls makes me fall more in love with him every day. I love the part about we aren't just a couple - we are a family and that means everything to me.
I love your writing and I love the topics you come up with, because I swear, most of them seem exactly like my life!! XO
Isn't that the best, when you watch them being a dad with your kids, it's just everything. Thanks for commenting Alycia!! 🙂
This made me cry a little...
We are so blessed to have such amazing husbands and sometimes in the chaos of it all it's good to make a stop and take it all in.
This made me want to tell my hubby how much I truly appreciate him. Thank you!
Aw I know, we really are blessed with such great husbands. I need to re-read this when Luis makes me mad, haha!