This photo means so much. Mainly because I don’t like it at all: the angle, my skin, my teeth. Oh god, my teeth, don’t get me started. Usually when I smile, I’ll quickly look down because I hate my teeth so much.
But I was so happy when I took this photo. I had just had a morning out to myself, gotten my hair done, it was sprinkling outside, I was about to go inside my house and hug and kiss on my boys after not seeing them for a few hours and then later Luis and I were going to go on a date. It was a good day!
A few friends had asked for a hair photo after I got out of the salon and this was going to be a “for their eyes only” pic, but instead I uploaded it onto Instagram. And it felt freeing. Like saying THIS IS ME! All of me! From my worst angle and my teeth showing…but I’m happy and I want you to see that part of me.
Granted it won’t be anytime soon that I’ll want to share the “real me”, the one who has her hair in a 2 day old bun, no makeup and stained clothes on. But I’ll share semi-cute me in a self-conscious pose. Baby steps. 31 is going to be full of baby steps.
At 31, I’m deep in the trenches of motherhood. Is trenches a bad word to use? Kind of makes it feel like a battlefield…yeah it’s a good word.
I’m “still” nursing my two year old, see above for reference. Yes, he is nursing while standing on my lap. My three-turning-four year old is becoming a little conversationalist and the cutest OCD tyrant I ever did meet. Currently, no one can sit in his peripheral vision or else it disrupts his tv viewing experience. Here I am, yet again at another year, saying “I thought such-and-such age was going to be easier, but it’s only harder!”
I thought three was the craziest, but as I’ve just been informed by other moms, four is not that much better in terms of preschooler psychosis.
But…the good news is that I’m pretty much out of the baby stage. Yes I’m still changing diapers and breastfeeding, but both of those things will likely end this year and he can feed himself, which is huge. Therefore, I feel like I’m really starting to enjoy my sons.
Yes I’ve been obsessed with them since they were born and every single step of the way has been magical in it’s own way, but there’s something awesome about having semi self-sufficient little ones. Watching them run all over the house and play (and knock each other out too, let’s be real) is nice because it means I don’t have to get up, ha! (Unless someone gets knocked out, and even then I pause to see how “bad” the cry is).
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If there’s anything I’ve learned in the last two and a half years of practicing the Law of Attraction is that nothing will happen unless I believe it will happen. There’s got to be some part of me deep down that believes it’s a possibility, and even better if I know it will happen without a doubt.
Do you know how many dreams could come true if you were to dare to dream them up and then expect them to happen? Expectation alone sets unseen forces into motion.
I’m going to be expecting a lot for this year. Mainly because I have two solid years of proof that everything I can clearly see in my mind and feel in my heart eventually makes it way to me, usually sooner rather than later. That will be 31. Lots and lots of manifesting of dreams, big and small!
And taking more pictures with my teeth showing. That might be the hardest one of all.
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Jessica is the author of the book "Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom". She is a Huffington Post contributor and has been featured on sites such as Scary Mommy, FamilyShare, and BlogHer. She has a BA degree in psychology and lives in NC with her husband and two sons.
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Great read, Jess!!! I have a borthday coming up in a couple weeks and you really put things into perspective here!! I love that you have big expectations of what 31 is; big dreams! So inspiring!!!
My recent post Saturday Spotlight: Volume 2
I throughly enjoy reading your blog, some would say I blog stalk you 😉 personally I think that picture of you looks great! You make 31 look good I can only hope to do the same soon.
Ok first of all, I LOVE your teeth and you are gorgeous, inside and out! 🙂 Honestly my teeth are my biggest insecurity too, so I get it but when I tell people they brush me off like "Whaaat? You have great teeth, don't be silly" and I honestly wonder… really? Do they not see the yellow (and grey on my front teeth because I smashed them out when I was 12 and both have root canals and are dying… woah off topic) anyway, my point is, when I say I love your teeth, I REALLY mean it. You have a unique smile that makes you who you are, without those teeth you'd look totally different, or like every other celebrity with a set of veneers 😉
I 100% believe in the law of attraction and I love your perspective! Here's to a great 32nd year for you! xoxo
My recent post Saturday Spotlight #2 (Link Up)
31 is looking good 🙂
Thank you Angelica!! xo
I looove your teeth! sooo straight and white!!Jealous! my teeth are still crooked and stained.. 🙁
Thank you so much but it was definitely angling and “touching up” involved 🙂 And my teeth are stained too from all the coffee I consume! I’m sure your teeth look better than you think, we’re all our own worst critics!