I think if I were to take an honest look at myself, I think my main suggestion would be to stop living for so much outside approval. Stop caring so much about what others could be thinking or saying about me. I care a lot more than I admit to myself.
I’m not sure why I’m this way. Maybe it’s a first born syndrome? To want the approval of others and the pat on the back. It’s what I lived for as a child. And even now, cause there’s nothing I love more than to call my parents and tell them something that will make them proud of me.
But really, this fault affects me every day. Worrying about what others could be thinking. Which is so narcissistic. I know this, and on a deeper level I know that people are not sitting around thinking about me. Nothing that anyone does or says to me really has anything to do with me. I know this. I just forget it 97% of the time.
It gets me into debates. And makes me feel competitive. Makes me want to make sly comments so I can “one up” my supposed offender…who probably has no idea I’ve been offended. It can really be an all consuming feeling that I can’t shake unless I really sit myself down and purposely work on changing my thoughts in that moment. It’s like I have to grab my mind by it’s arms and shake it vigorously yelling “stop it, you’re crazy!”
So if there was something I would critique about myself, it would be that. Worrying too much about what others think. Which causes me to have a stream of other unpleasant characteristics, but they all stem of me needing approval outside of myself.
I’m working on it, friends! What’s something you would critique about yourself? One thing you really wish you could fix?
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