I don’t know if anyone else is weird like this, but I frequently imagine what it’ll feel like when I’m old and thinking back on parts of my life. I’ll be ninety years old in some little nursing home by myself. I won’t have Luis with me anymore, and my children will have their own lives.
And I imagine that this time, right now that I’m currently living, will likely be the sweetest memories I’ll have when I’m an old lady. Right? This time of having little ones in the house and innocent laughter filling the rooms. My husband and I in our prime, healthy and experiencing this adventure together for the first time.
It’s a time full of firsts. An exciting time.
So if I were to be a little old lady, all alone in my bed and thinking back to this time right now, what would I like to remember?
The way Luis and I wrestled when the kids weren’t looking.
The way Pig liked to lay his hand on my stomach so he could feel safe.
The way Dac liked to chase ping pong balls around the house.
The friends I had that I talked to on a daily basis who made staying at home not so lonely.
The way I loved how Luis’ shoulders looked in button down dress shirts.
The way Pig would sit for hours throughout the day doing his puzzles.
The way Dac smelled and felt next to me in bed when I nursed him back to sleep.
The way motherhood taught me lessons everyday on patience and kindness.
The way my life was full of love and sweetness and mistakes and messes.
The way I went to bed every night intent on doing better the next day.
The way I knew these years were going to be the greatest years of my life,
even though they were going by so fast because they were hard.
I’m betting I would give anything when I’m an old lady, to come back to these years I’m living right now. That thought definitely helps me to remember to cherish this time as much I can.