I don't claim to be an expert at anything, except when it comes to boob obsessed toddlers.
I have been nursing for the last four years straight, part of that time pregnant, and the other part of that time tandem nursing. Out of the last 48 months, I've probably had about four months total that I wasn't woken up every two hours or less to nurse someone.
I only tell you all of this so that you may trust me when I say: I GET IT. I hear your cries sister and I wish we could hold each other right now.
There comes a time for many of us when we have to put our foot down and our boobs away, at least during the night so we can be functioning human beings.
Dacky is turning two this week, and he has just recently been night weaned. I decided to night wean him because if left to his own devices, he will wake up every two hours or less to nurse.
I know those of us that nurse older toddlers might be more in the minority, but I also know there's a lot of us out there. And from what I've seen from my friends who nurse older toddlers, it seems like half of them start to naturally night wean themselves, and the other half start regressing back to freakin newborns and want to nurse all night.
So I'm going to share with you the stages of trauma my experience and tips for night weaning a boob-obsessed toddler.
First Stage: Oh hells no.
Despite conversations that your "mimis" (as we call them around here) will be going to sleep and not coming back until the sun comes up, they will wake up as usual for their first nursing after falling asleep, and they will be outraged to the core of their little souls that there will be no having of the mimis.
Envision back arching, scream crying, fully waking up in bed...every 30 minutes after they finally fall asleep...all night.
Second Stage: Eye of the storm.
Usually after the first night (or two) there will be a strange calm that takes over. They don't wake up as frequently and they fall back asleep faster. But you know it's too good to be true, and it is, so don't prepare for a full night's rest just yet.
They're just refilling their energy stores and preparing to go to battle.
Brace yourself. Shit's about to get real.
Third Stage: The gnashing of teeth.
Don't watch any horror movies about possessed children during this time so you're not scared shitless at night by your own small child who will be making guttural, non-human sounds you've never heard before.
They're fully aware of your little plan to try and get more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep since birthing them years ago and they are pissed.
Hold on for dear life like you would to a pole during a huge tornado...it will all be over shortly! Eye on the prize Mom, keep your eye on that prize.
Fourth Stage: Scattered storms.
Your toddler's head isn't spinning in circles at night anymore, but you've still got to make it through a few nights of wakeful fits. Depending on your toddler's level of boob addiction and individual perseverance, this stage can last up to a week and in some cases, two.
BUT...by now you might have noticed nap time during the day increase and they will go several hours before waking at night. MAJOR IMPROVEMENT, right?! You can do this.
Fifth Stage: They sleep.
Like in those movies after a horrible monster or debilitating storm has passed and everyone starts to come out from hiding, laughing and embracing...this will be you and your spouse or other children in the house.
It's safe, everyone can come out! Sleep is actually happening!!! You awake in the mornings and don't feel like death. Welcome back to life!
Things that helped me:
1. Water and snack by the bed. The first few times I offered a sippy cup, Dacky demon-screamed NO at me, but he eventually wanted some water. I also kept some crackers by the bed for him in case he really was hungry. He ate them once for novelty but he's never truly hungry.
2. There were a few nights that I gave in probably around 4am. What was nice was that he would go back to sleep for, usually, several more hours. It's an amazing thing how much longer they'll start to sleep even before they're completely done being night weaned.
3. Keep talking about it during the day. Keep reminding them that "mimis" will be going to bed at night.
4. Set your coffee timer the night before. Make it strong.
And that was my experience of night weaning Dacky...I wanted to share it here before my mind blacked it out for my emotional and mental protection. If you've gone up against the wrath of a boob-obsessed toddler and lived to tell the tale, please leave your tips below!
Jessica Dimas is the author of the book "Sacred Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Mom."
Beauty and the Binky
Haha I love your recap of this. I was close to this point when I traveled for work. After a week, I returned to a no-longer-nursing--or-boob-obsessed-little-19-month-old. Now I know what I missed. Thanking the boob gods I got to miss this. Sneding boob prayers to the boob gods for your experience.
Elysse G
I am currently have a night obsessed boob monster that is 28 months. I'm tired! I have tried to let her cry but I can't do it so I end up giving in. She is a picky eater and sometimes won't eat alot at dinner. I stopped checking the clock to see the times she wakes up as I know that wouldn't help. We do co sleep but sometimes one of us starts the night on the mattress on the floor. I thought it was easier having her in bed next to me but maybe that's the problem?
Thank you for this blog post!!!
Hillary
elylsse- how did things turn out? My 2yo goes to bed fine her her crib (sleepy trained a year ago) but always wakes at least 2-3 times. For 2 mo now, she refuses to go back in her crib so we cosleep. this is fine except she insists on nursing EVERY 2 hours or less. I too wonder if cosleepong is making it worse? she becomes a totally different child in the night when I satmy we can’t nurse until sun comes out, boobies are sleeping, etc. I end up giving in bc even when she cries x1hr, she just wakes again within 30-45 mins (as this article said!). ugh. need hope!
elysse
Hilary...I'm still cosleeping with my toddler who turned 3 in May. She still wants boob when going to sleep but as long as I don't wake her when I get into bed we are pretty much done with night time feedings. She does ask for boobs as soon as she wakes up but that's about it. I thought it would never end haha!
stelle
hi hi hi...I'm on day 16 and it's not getting any better. How many days did it take for you? I'm dying. She's 25 months. It's all day, all night. HELP.
Anna Matuka
I have just weaned my 30 month old boy cold turkey because I was in the brink of insanity.He attends nursery school,so it was during the holidays that the obsession started.
He would ask for milk every 30mins during the day and a few times during the night.
Now he can't sleep as much as he used to .It's been a week now but the little bummer won't just sleep through the night.He wakes up crying, throws a fit when I tell him he is not breastfeeding anymore because he is a big boy now - for 15minutes or more(full throttle).I wait until the fit subsides then offer water or fresh milk,then he sleeps.Only to have the episode repeat itself a few hours later.He is not eating solids and I struggle with giving him cereal.Neither is he taking his usual noon nap.On my wit's end
Elysse Gilbertson
Hey!! So because we weren't breastfeeding throughout the day my supply really dropped. I think it was December 2022 that one night I decided I had had enough and I told her they were empty. She had already been telling me for a few days that there wasn't anything left in them so I stood firm and said we were done. Within 2 nights she put herself to sleep. I definitely had to distract her with asking her about her day so she wouldn't try to pull my shirt down and go for the boob. You could put cabbage leaves in your bra during the day to help dry up. We are now three months in of her going to sleep on her own and no more boob!! You got this!
Jess
I'm currently trying to wean my 5th baby......he's 14 months and I've gotten him sleeping through the night till 5am with no boob.....but I'm ready for day time weaning......he's very determined and has begun to throw horrible tantrum and refuses sippy even throw it on the floor and then rolls around and wails until I give him boob. 🙄 he's extremely intelligent and very particular.....as well as STUBBORN 😣.....I can't stand the fits and screaming. Any advice from mom's who have overcome this situation would be greatly appreciated 👍.
Sal
Hello! Just reading you comment don’t think you’d remember but if you do please share if you finally manage to wean and how haha
Sandra Gil
Hi,
I’m currently weaning my 26 mo . I got rid of the afternoon feed, although she still asks. I have pushed the evening from 5 pm until about 6 pm.
I feel so guilty when she screams bloody murder if I don’t nurse her after 6 pm . It’s like they know right?! That you have postponed long enough and they need to nurse NOW ! I haven’t even yet gotten to weaning her during the night ! I feel like I’m in this alone and no one understands. Thanks for writing this blog/article. Super helpful!
Jessica
Sandra- you are not alone! Currently in the initial stages of attempting to night wean my 2.5 year old and it is brutal! She has been day weaned for about 6-8 months now.
I have been wanting to night time wean for months and months and I have finally hit my breaking point. It’s awful though because she becomes so distraught and emotionally disregulated… this is probably won’t have the hardest things I will do.
stelle
Any updates?! I'm on day 16 and my 25 month old is still apoplectic all night long. Should I do day weaning first? HELP
Sal
Hello! I’m also weaning my 25 months old. I bought this booby chapstick thing from Amazon that has nothing bad in it all natural but tastes yucky. I started telling my tot that mummy’s boobs all yucky now all day long. Then before the feed I’d put that balm on and let her try the boob without letting her suck it if you know what I mean. It worked like a charm for before bedtime feeds after 2 days she has now stopped asking for boob.
But it does not work for overnight feeds well atleast hasn’t for us Last night she cried for almost an hour for boob while I thought I was standing my ground. She usually only feed 2 times a night. But since started weaning before bedtime feeds, she’s been waking up hourly at night time. Overall super clingy during the day and quite moody so not sure if I’m doing something wrong here or should I stop?
I read somewhere it said maybe I’m weaning too fast? But I’m getting no sleep at night and I don’t wanna feel like a zombie 🧟♀️ anymore haha
Please share how did you manage to stop over night feeds?
Also, she sleeps in the same room as me but in her own bed. Once she’s up I have to jump in the bed with her.
Someone please help me is this really traumatic for tot’s? I’ve never seen her crying this much and for this long before. It was heart breaking.
TIA
Brittany
Any updates to your weaning Stelle? I’m going to attempt to wean my 21 month old and she’s passionate…. I’m honestly scared to even start because of her anticipated reaction.
Stelle
I had to give up after FOUR months of trying to stop night feeding. It was nuts. I just have to give in and be at peace and I’ve realized she just needs it. It will end. She’s now almost 3 and wakes only once a night to feed. I know it’s not very American to continue but the weaning failed and I don’t want to regret cutting her off so much she cries and feels abandoned. It will end….good luck!!!
Crystal
I am trying to wean my 27 month old. She just screamed murder and my husband and I had a fight because “one of us needs to sleep” and “you should have researched it better” um how??? Lol
cynthia
Love this. So much. I need sleep!
Question...After nursing to sleep what did you do after the first wake up? Just let him cry/exhaust himself back to sleep? Dad & I are wimps about crying, which is why my 21 month old has never slept in his crib. (He'll do around 2 hours in crib or pack n play but after that we just cosleep and side lying nurse every 2-3hrs the rest of the night.)
He really doesn't know how to sleep w/out boob! Any advice would be appreciated. I want to do it before he is 2 and/or I get pregnant again!!
Jessica Dimas
Yes, I explained to him that he couldn't have mimis until the sun came up, and when he'd cry I'd just hold him and ask him occasionally if he wanted water. I've always been a huge wimp for the crying too, but for both of our boys around 2 years old when we night weaned them, we held them when they cried but didn't give in.
Coral
I have one of those demon child’s, she screams, yells, and kicks me then has a cough fit till she gags. She’ll breathe and then do it all again... when she does stop for a breath and I tell her she doesn’t need ‘tutu’ and that she can have an up&go or something that she can atleast sleep another 20 minutes on, she then takes a sip, freaks out and starts doing the same thing and scratching at my chest and hitting me... and this is coming from a practically good baby during the day.. I need soooo much help it’s not funny ?? I feel tired all the time, I feel as though I’ve tried everything.. maybe I should try doing the ‘week leave’ and hopefully coming back to a boobweined kid ????♀️ Idk.
Sarah Harris
Coral, I just night weaned my very similar "demon child" who becomes violent towards me as his tantrums escalate. What we did that was helpful was when his tantrums escalated to either to screaming or hitting or any behavior that I just couldn't handle anymore and still remain calm, dad would take him out of the room until he calmed down enough that he could see me again. It worked because he wanted to see me. If it escalated again, dad would take him again. It both gave be a break so I could breath and calm myself as well as give my son a reason to gain bak some control. It was so hard but the sleep is so much better. We night weaned the falling asleep and middle of the night sessions but kept the morning session for now. It's the only one left. He's just 3.
Alexia baltazar
My son is 2 and a half.
His dad works night so it’s tough because I don’t have the option for his help for the “demon child” that cries and screams for his night feeding. I have noticed though when we went to Disneyland he was so exhausted that he slept through the whole night WITTHOUT waking up for “teta”! So I’m hoping I just get him super tired during the day that he’s exhausted at night and just sleeps through the night. Other then him waking up in the middle of the night asking for it he’s completely off the boob. I hope he just self weans within the next few months, I want my boobs back! Lol good luck to all.
Ashley Whyte
First off, this entire post made me snort laugh so hard coffee came out of my nose. Seriously. And ya it’s 8pm at night. Coffee is the lifes blood. Why do I find this so entertaining? Well, because I’m headed straight into night two of this hell storm and I was in desperate need of a ray of sunshine. And here it is. If anything it’s made me super aware that I am not the only one dealing with the devil in regards to night weaning or boob obsessed children. I’m all for continuing to nurse (at the moment) during the daytime but I haven’t slept a full uninterrupted evening in 20 months and I’m dying…that slow, agonizing, painful, pull my hair out, divorce my husband, quit my job and move to Alaska, kinda death. So thanks for this read! Because somehow between my super potent caffeinated drink and reading this I feel like there’s a chance. A chance I may sleep once again. And maybe so will my kid.
Charlotte Shearing
Just some solidarity. This is my exact situation. Mine has made herself sick before. I can’t bear to deny her when it’s a biologically normal desire and she doesn’t know why she can’t have it. It’s completely different to telling her she can’t eat the phone charger. She also will not be distracted. Whatever we try. I’m completely lost.
Mommy nips
This was so entertaining for me.but so very real! My girl is almost two and I have only started to shorten her feeds. My real problem is the nipple twiddling, and pinching.. Ugh!!! Get off please! One day I know this will all pass and maybe I will miss it..
Brittany
OMG, the nip twiddling and the pulling! It drives me absolutely bonkers!
stelle
How long did it take? I'm on day 16...holding, comforting, but she's apoplectic. 25 months old. I'm exhausted beyond.
Vanessa
Im currently in the same boat. He refuses his bed if he wakes up in his bed hes pissed and we co sleep the rest of the night side boob nursing every few hrs. I need sleep.
Bruna Locks
I am beyond relieved and glad I found this here. Sometimes I Feel like I am an alien when trying to talk to my friends about this. None of them nursed for longer than 12 months. My LO is 16 months and does all you described: waking up every 2 hours or so to nurse, boob-obsessed, cosleeping, side nursing...
Tawni
Same same. You wrote your comment back in May. I’m praying you’ve gone before us and can give us positive feedback. My 16 mth old is nursing non stop at night and I’m cussing in my head. Which is horrible. I’m depressed. I’m exhausted. I’m resentful. But he legit doesn’t know how to go to sleep without boob. And we are ANTI cry it out. So here we are. I’m over it. I’m about to cut my boobs off. Legit. And pregnant. I have no desire to tandem nurse. I am fine with some daytime feeds but I want night done. For good. Desperate. Hoping you were successful and can give some feedback!
Nipra
Tawni, i see this is from September, so I hope you have night weaned, but in case you haven't... you could try the book "Nursies when the sun shines." it really helped my son understand the concept. Not that he didn't fight it with every fiber of his being. I allowed him to touch instead of nurse, which I'm not sure was a great strategy. "A Loving Comfort" also was a big hit to help him wean completely. That was 6 months ago, yet he still wants to touch the boobs to sleep (recently this need has been ferocious, despite having some stuffed animals as substitutes) and upon waking up and sometimes even tries to "nurse", which is driving me crazy! So the weaning journey continues... he's a little over 2.5 years old.
Momof2
Youre going to have to throw on some headphones during the daytime naps and let your toddler cry it out. If after 20 mins theyre still crying go in and offer reassurance and WALK OUT and put your headphones back on. I KNOW, i nursed my 1st for 19 months old while i was pregnant, i was 35 weeks pregnant when i weaned my 19 month old and HAD to stop because of contractions, granted my milk had dried up a lot by that time and was just colostrum. Right now, i am still nightweaning my second child, he is 14 months old and literally slaps me in the face and chest while showing me the sign for milk and crying, flailing,and arching back. Dad helped for a week by getting him to bed at night and then his nighttime sleep improved drastically because he wasnt wetting so many diapers and waking himself up. But now that dads traveling for work, i am back to him wanting to nurse before bed. I did good for the 1st night, but the 2nd and 3rd night i caved because he tantrumed and i didnt want him to disturb his older brother. But then he was waking up with huge diapers, and now on the 4th night i have endured one of his tantrums and i just kept telling him, no go to sleep. He fell asleep and i assume he will sleep well tonight since his bladder wont be full. You can do it too, but give cry it out a try, even for just 1-3 days. I was against it too, but you really do need rest and you reach a breaking point eventually. If the crying bothers you just wake sure theyre clean, fed/watered, and its nap or bed time, make sure they're in a safe place, like their crib, and can't hurt themselves, and throw on some headphones. They'll be okay. My boys know what crib means, crib =sleep
Stephanie
This is my exact story except mine is 19 months. He went from 2-3 feeds a night max to now using me as a human pacifier since I stopped day feeds. Night feeds were all I had left to put him to bed. Now I can’t even roll over at any point. I’m pregnant and I’m sure I don’t want to tandem feed and we don’t to cry it out and I’m losing my chill during the day because I’m sleep deprived and becoming resentful. This is a pickle of a situation because my first just naturally weaned at 12 months. Ahhh help
Dominique
I am currently in the same boat. I am 26 weeks pregnant and my milk is basically dried up at least it feels like it.... but my 18 month old will not get off the breast. He throws complete outragous tantrums and even trys to rip his hair out, slap his face, and attack me kicking and screaming the worst cry ever in life. Its really embarrassing in public when he is trying to pull my boobs out in front of people or starts stimulating the nipple. Not only does he breastfeed, he also likes to play with the other nipple while hes on one side. It literally makes me feel like i have a mental illness, im gritting my teeth, crying, depressed and dont know what to do. Is their anything a doctor could do? Im desperate for help! I dont want to tandom feed but i feel like i have no choice. like my baby is bullying me and he nurses even more now that my milk has gone down. My nipples are soooo sore and his feeding causes contractions and it doesnt help him stimulating the right nipple also with his hands. Then he flips out if i dont want him rolling the right nipple around while he feeds on the left. Its absolutly crazy. He doesnt like anyone else but me and his dad so no one watches him but us and i hardly get any sleep and have insomnia because if i am sleep he latches on and it makes me soo uncomfortable that it breaks my sleep entirely until he unlatches. Im due January 10th or sooner and im going bonkers! It does feel better knowing im not the only mother going through this, but i am wondering when will it stop?
Jess
I was desperate too. I got to the point where I just said NO. Covered my boobs and endure the fits with him next to me in bed staying firm.....repeat No boobies and then said goodnight 😴 I love you. Now he sleeps in our room but on his bed. But daytime is still a serious struggle.....the fits are terrible and he refuses sippy......good luck
Chasnie
Years after you posted this, I come across it at 2 in the morning as I'm looking for some type of normalcy. My first child seemed to wean naturally, but this 2nd is going through all those stages. So I know there is hope somewhere. I ended up pulling large bandaids over my chest so when she pulled my bra down in the middle.of the night she couldn't find her MILK (screamed in a Russian accent, who knows where she got that). Anyways, thank you!
Jessmom
Oh my gosh, how crazy, I am currently doing the bandaids with my boob obsessed 20 month old. He’s certainly on stage 3-gnashing of the teeth. The nighttime nursing’s have increased to every 1-2 hours and he becomes inconsolable when he’s not able to find the nip. So exhausting!! I hope this gets better!
Bella
I just wanted to add: My baby girl is almost 16 months now. She fed every 45 min, if I was licky every 2 hours until 13 months old. I was exhausted. I read the book "it's never too late to sleep train" and it really helped me to ubderstand how powerful those habit loops are and how it's not only your baby that has the habit bit also you. You can't change your baby's habit but you cam change your own and this will in turn cause a change in baby. We ended up doing CIO and now she sleeps from 20h00 to 5h00. I feed her and bring her into bed with us and she sleeps ob the boob until about 7h30, but this is doable after getting about 6-7 hours unintetrupted sleep. If I take het off the boob while in bed With me she totally freaks out!
Triana
This post was so hilariously relatable. I’m definitely going through it with my baby girl. She will be 2 Nov. 2nd and I am so ready to night wean. She can’t go to sleep without me and she stays on my FOREVER! I watch the clock once she pulls away from me just to see how long she goes without the boob. 1 hour Max. I’m a sucker when it comes to babies crying so I cannot let her cry for long. I feel so horrible when she cries for the boob so I just give in every single night. I’ve also tried bandages and making my boobs taste nasty but neither one the ideas worked. I just want to sleep!
Destiny Dean
SO GLAD IM NOT ALONE❤️
Shaleana
I love this and needed to read it. My 2 year old is obsessed but when I've tried to wean at night he gets hysterical and isn't within logic. I don't know if there is a point maybe I should give in? When he loses his mind I get worried I'm doing permanent traumatic brain damage, going to give him PTSD, or might turn him a serial killer one day or someone who hoards milk in his/maybe still my, basement one day. I also wanted to comment on how much I appreciated your unfiltered and comical way of speaking about your child. I'm similar but always feel like I'm the odd one in parent groups. Or my husband looks at me like, "You can't say that, people will take You seriously." You made me laugh, thank you!
Samileen
Oh my god, I feel I can never ween off my boob addict haha, this was hilarious, yet inspiring. I give in way too fast, who wants to disturb their precious sleep, just pull up let the sucker have it and we all sleep well, but it's about time to cut the strings. Wish me luck.
Sam|| Beautydetour
Jessica Dimas
LOL yes it is so much easier. Probably why I got myself in this predicament twice! Sending you lots of luck!!
Elizabeth
Thanks for your article! I am still night nursing my 21m old son and am due with my second in 3 months! We starting co sleeping when he was 7m old because I couldn't take the getting out of bed 10 times a night anymore!! I obviously want to stop nursing to have a break before the baby comes but I find my self chickening out every time. We also have to switch him to his own bed in his room and part of me knows I'll miss him in my bed , but looking for strength and maybe a couple months of sleep before baby 2 comes . Thanks again maybe this is the week 🙂
Jessica Dimas
Oh my gosh I know your pain. I nursed through pregnancy as well. I ended up night nursing him when he was around 19 months old, but still nursed during the day. And then I tandem nursed until he was a few months past 2.5. The night weaning helped a TON. I was getting zero sleep and definitely needed that break before baby came. I wish you lots of luck, nothing about any kind of weaning is easy!
Misty
I laughed out loud reading this. My two year old daughter is a complete boob addict. She wants to nurse all day and every two hours all night long. She pulls at my shirt to try and lift it up then screams like a banshee if I impede her efforts. All of my friends kids weaned themselves by this age and I was so jealous because my child wants to nurse more than ever! I am so glad to know that I am not alone.
Jessica Dimas
Yesss! That's how both of my boys were at 2. My youngest is turning 3 this week and so...I think I'm going to be nursing a 3 year old! I had planned on him fully weaning somewhere close to three but his need to nurse hasn't gone away. He's down to just once a day before his nap but I can literally see a difference in him after he has "mimis", he's much calmer and able to deal with the day. So, onwards we go... 🙂
Angelica Galaviz
My life right now!!!!!!! My two year old is so addicted to he's " titi" and not nessesary during the day but oh my! We gave sleepless night ... I feel like if I still had a newborn in my house but worst because he wakes up 3-4 times at night crying more like screaming fie he's titi to be honest this mommy is ready to give up the breastfeeding I don't feel it any more specially of he's cryes at night !! I love this article because I need it to know that I was not alone so jealous of my friends that tell my that their 6 month old is sleeping through the night I'm just like what !
Updates? Something extra you will like to share with me.
Thank you
Angelica
Jessica Dimas
You're definitely not the only one! My youngest seriously woke up every night even after he was "night weaned" around 1 in the morning and would scream cry for boob. He was between 2-3 years old at that time, and when he turned 3 he finally slept through the night. He continued to nurse once a day for nap until he was a few months shy of 4 and I weaned him. But yeah...neither of my boys slept for the first 3 years of their lives. They were boob obsessed and did not take kindly to being night weaned. They definitely felt worse than newborns. I honestly feel like a different mom now that I get decent sleep. It's made me realize how short on patience and completely sleep deprived I was. If you can hold firm at night and just keep saying no even while he screams, he'll eventually give up. My son would be laying in between my husband and I so he wasn't alone but I got to a point where I just refused to nurse him at night and would pretend to keep sleeping. He eventually would exhaust himself and fall back to sleep too. Good luck, it's so rough! Make sure you're doing extra things for yourself, you're sleep deprived and deserve any extra TLC you can give yourself <3
Jean-Marie Kruger
Hi! Thanks for the great article. Good to be reminded that you are not alone!
Do you have advice on getting them to fall asleep without nursing?
Jessica Dimas
Hi Jean-Marie, sorry that I'm just now seeing this comment but I wanted to reply and let you know how I've gotten my boys to fall asleep without nursing. My husband helped night wean my first son, and he bounced him to sleep on our yoga ball in replacement of nursing. With our second son, we wanted to avoid that because my first son had become attached to falling asleep on the yoga ball, so with him I would nurse him sitting up so he couldn't fall asleep, and then put him into the bed both of our boys sleep in, which helped that he had his brother there...not sure that would've worked well otherwise. Lots of hard nights when he didn't want to do it, to be honest. And after doing the sitting up and nursing thing for awhile, he eventually just started getting into bed and going to sleep without nursing.
Anonymous
Thank you Jessica. Xx
Quinetta Johnson
Yes, so good to know that I'm not the only one who has a boob obsessed toddler. Thank you for the article. LO will be 2 in almost 3 months and I am past done with breastfeeding. I think we'll start night weaning tonight- the sooner the better. However, how did you get your LO's to sleep w/o mimi's?
Jessica Dimas
Haha so funny you asked that because I just responded to someone else with the same question. I'm going to copy and paste - My husband helped night wean my first son, and he bounced him to sleep on our yoga ball in replacement of nursing. With our second son, we wanted to avoid that because my first son had become attached to falling asleep on the yoga ball, so with him I would nurse him sitting up so he couldn’t fall asleep, and then put him into the bed both of our boys sleep in, which helped that he had his brother there…not sure that would’ve worked well otherwise. Lots of hard nights when he didn’t want to do it, to be honest. And after doing the sitting up and nursing thing for awhile, he eventually just started getting into bed and going to sleep without nursing.
Nicole Corr
Omg it's 4am and my husband and I are exhausted. The last week has been intense like my nearly 2yr old daughter (this Tuesday is her birthday) has regressed and insists on bobbie a couple of times a night. She had been sleeping through the night for about a month. When I say no, she starts screaming the house down. We have other family members in the house & I give in cause I don't want to wake them. The house is very tense I'm exhausted. My doctor mentioned to me some time ago that the best way to wean is by going away a few nights & leaving her with grandma.
What I'm having problems with. If I give in at night she wants it more often. As you say every couple of hours. I feel like I'm being tortured with sleep deprivation & it's very similar to couple of weeks where she would binge feed before a growth spurt. Omg thank you for posting this. Love the whole article ??
Jessica Dimas
Oh my gosh, I know your pain. I'm so sorry, it's HARD being that exhausted. I seriously felt like I was a horrible mother during the day because I was so tired and irritable, and a lot of times I turned into a monster at night from the sleep deprivation. My son did the same thing and I also gave in a lot because I didn't want him to wake our 4 year old. I hope you're able to night wean, it does make a world of difference once they stop waking up to nurse. My son just turned 3 last week and he's finally sleeping through the night (sad, right? haha). But for the last several months he'd wake up and just want to "touch mimis" since that was what I'd offer him "You can't have mimis but you can touch them." He finally accepted that and that's what we did up until a month or so ago. Good luck girl, I hope better sleep is in your near future!
Jasmin
Thank you so much for the inspiration. I'm from Berlin in Germany and this is the first article I think that could help me with my 18 months old girl. She is a very obsessed baby. And I thought my son was obsessed with his 13 months of breastfeeding. We are such pussies and don't let the kids cry..... But it sounds like this could realy work.
Thank you
Jasmin
Jessica Dimas
Hahaha don't feel bad, we're huge pussies too about the crying. I finally told myself that if they're crying in my arms, it's okay for me. I even told my husband to not take my second one to another room to wean him at night because I'd rather him cry with me and realize that I wasn't going to give in, so that he doesn't ever think that if he sees me at night, he could cry and start the whole process over again. I actually even read that crying is not a bad thing, and that letting the child cry while laying with you helps them release their emotions over the whole issue of night weaning.
Crystal
I love it!!! I'm in the process of night weaning my 11 month old, only thing thats hard is that we co-sleep him and his older sister which is 2yrs old soon to be 3. 🙂
Jessica Dimas
Oh man, good luck!! That's what was hard for us, when the toddler would wake up his older brother ? I swear that's why he's still nursing at 3 so his screams don't wake everyone up in the morning.
Andrea
Haha this is hilarious! I read it out loud a few times. Love it!
2 nights I decided no more boobie at night ('boo' as my 21 month old son now calls it). We crib trained him a few months ago but the amount of night nursing didn't reduce at all. I decided to keep nursing as this was a new stage for him and wanted him to be comfortable and happy in his crib. I'm proud that he can now put himself to sleep and even grabs my hand to go to bed sometimes! But he was waking up every 2 hrs atleast to nurse. The past 2 weeks I've brought him in bed with me around 12am just because I'm so tired I can't physically get up anymore to get him. Well the boob obsession got worse.. He woke up every hour to nurse and when he wasn't nursing he wanted to lie on me! 2 weeks later of maybe 3 hours of interrupted sleep a night I realize I'm actually preventing him from sleeping by continuously nursing him. So last night I cut it off! I explained before bed that 'boo' was going to sleep just like him and mommy and daddy and that he has to sleep in his bed. Well 3 hrs later he wasn't too thrilled with this explanation. I gave a sippy cup of milk and told him we can have boo in the morning. He only woke up twice that night, had a 10 minute tantrum and slept til 6! Which is amazing cause he has also been waking up at 5. I'm hopeful that things will get better. I'm so determined to get him off of night nursing and for us all to get better sleep. Thanks for listing the different stages.. Now I know what to expect this week! But I'm sticking to my guns!
Jessica Dimas
I REALLY agree with you. I do feel like the reason my boys nursed so frequently for so long wasn't because they're both natural-born shitty sleepers, but because the nursing was waking them up!! I always secretly think to myself that if I were to have a third baby, I would likely be putting that baby in a crib near my bed after the first few months so they would get used to sleeping in their own area and not smell my milk all night. Well...in theory I would do that haha! It definitely helps once they're able to understand more and realize that they have to wait until morning. I'm so happy for you that you figured out what was keeping your toddler up! It's amazing once they start sleeping better, makes SUCH a difference on everyone in the family!
Shantell
I did enjoy your article, my daughter is 22 months & very slick. She stopped needing a bottle a year ago & only nurses for comfort not hunger. It's more of a learned behavior so I'm trying to contemplate how to keep her from ripping my shirt off without literally pushing her away. I did read where a mom used band-AIDS saying her breasts had boo boos to discourage. Another used vinegar on her nipples. I don't want to be deceptive, just wean her without too much drama. She only nurses at nap time and bedtime, otherwise there's a lot of crying with me. She goes right to sleep with her dada! It's like my breasts went from a blessing to a curse!
Jessica Dimas
Yes, I know that dreaded stage. I swear they turn straight obsessed with boobs when they're toddlers, closer to 2. It's crazy how my son screamed every night for months in bed next to me because I wouldn't give him boob in the middle of the night anymore. Everything I read said they will stop after a few weeks of you saying no but he didn't! My first son did though, and it was just amazing what a difference it immediately made. Bedtime was no longer this huge ordeal. I wish you lots of luck!
M.N.
I'm so happy to have stumbled upon your article. My little girl is now 1 and a half years old and is obsessed with boobs as you so skillfully put it. I would like to stop breastfeeding her and i don't know how. I only nurse her at bet time (at night or at afternoon nap on weekends). She would not go to sleep without boob if she knows i'm home. She screams until she turns blue, rest a little and start again. I did not have the inner power to say no to her and suffer the very loud consequence for more than an hour. I eventually give up and offer the breast, but she would still avoid me the next mourning which she would not otherwise do. i have to carry her around in my arms from the moment she wakes up until i leave for work although she walks very well on her own since she was 11 month old.
Jessica Dimas
That's a really hard age. They get really attached to the breast as toddlers, I always think of it as their "emotional re-set" cause that's what it feels like. My youngest son gets so wound up and then acts whiney and just irritated, but once I nurse him it's like he's refreshed and in a much better mood. If there is any way possible for you to leave for a few days, I would suggest that. If it's possible, I know that would be hard. I've never weaned one at her age, but I would think at her age that if you were out of sight for a few days or not available at bedtime, she would give it up. I did night wean my older son at 19 months and it was really hard, he slept in another room with my husband. There's nothing easy about it, I wish you lots of luck.
Rosie
We're about to start night weaning for the 3rd time. The first time we used Dr Jay Gordon's method at 15 months and it was starting to work after 2 weeks but then... Teeth and a cold and Christmas holidays with travel and family staying with us.
Second time was in March at 19 months. We talked about it a lot but we traveled and I got a bit lazy when dad wasn't there to help. I was away for 5-days on a business trip but she was just so heart broken I caved. I don't think I was 100% dedicated and she could tell.
This week we're going to night wean once and for all. She's 22 months, boob obsessed and very loud. Ha!
We're planning to night wean for about 2 weeks and then start the transition to her "big girl" bed in our room. Dad will help in the nights and then help with the transition to the new bed by putting her to bed several days in a row.
I love your suggestion to nurse sitting up and then lay her down in her bed awake. We'll try that.
All this to get her geared up to stay with grandma and grandpa for 5 nights in July.
Thanks for your story!!
Jessica Dimas
How's it going with the night weaning? Your past two experiences remind me of my own experience as well; progress until there was teething or a trip or SOMETHING, anything. If there was one thing I wish I could do over it would've been to put a full size bed in the boys' room so my husband could've slept there with them. We did have a queen bed in the guest room and that's essentially how it went with my first, but with my second, I bought toddler beds and thus screwed myself because my husband had no where to sleep when trying to stay with my littlest one while he fell asleep. I hope things are going well over there, sending you lots of weaning dust!
Louise
Stumbled across your blog as I sit in the hallway beside by toddlers door to scared to actually go in her room for fear of being attacked! Totally obsessed and can break me in seconds with a perfectly times "milk pease" request as she snuggles into position. Thanks for the reminder that I'm not alone and that at some stage it is ok to put your foot down and say that sleep is necessary! This is my 4th (and last) baby and after nearly 10 years of being pregnant and/or breast feeding I looking forward to the other side!
Jessica Dimas
Oh, I feel you! And I bow down to you, you are amazing! I've only done half the time that you have and it is HARD. I really feel like there's this unspoken pressure in the extended breastfeeding community to nurse on demand forever until they naturally stop, but I don't know how many moms can keep it up without becoming sick and unhealthy in process of trying to do so. The lack of sleep over such a long time is just killer. I felt like such a different person once my littlest one was night weaned, I actually felt alive in the morning! Good luck! xo
Kirti
Hi, I am thinking of night weaning my 25 month old who is nursing like a newborn again. My question is did you see any improvement in their appetite for solids after completely night weaning them? My girl is very skinny and IV been told again and again that she has no appetite coz of all the milk she drinks at night. Thanks much!
Jessica Dimas
YES! After I night weaned my toddlers, I almost instantly noticed an improvement in their appetite for solids. I'm sure your daughter is just naturally petite though, because my boys actually started losing weight once they stopped getting so much milk. But yes, they definitely made up in solids what they stopped getting all night long in milk haha.
Kirti
Thanks so much! I wanted to wean her this past week but we both were under the weather so have postponed it till we both get better. Wish me luck 🙂
Terra
My little one is 2 1/2 and still wants his "booboos" every chance he gets. We come home from school/work and he immediately says "I want booboos. Let's go to bed." Because that's the only time I give them to him. He wakes up in the morning pissed at the world and the only thing he wants is booboos. I have to keep them hidden at all times around him or he wants them. I've been in the bathroom without a shirt on while brushing my teeth and washing my face for the night with the door open. He'll sneak in and grab a hold on one. I'm over it. He's my last and he'll be 3 in April. I'm ready to have my body back. Looks like we'll try for Thanksgiving break since I'll be off for a week. I'm so ready!!!
Jessica Dimas
Oh my gosh, he sounds exactly like how both of my sons were too, especially at that age. And everything I used to read said that they naturally start to become less interested but I felt it was the opposite! I felt like they just got more obsessed as toddlers. Good luck, I just weaned my last one a week ago. Bittersweet for sure, closing the door on my breastfeeding days.
Hannah
Omg this cracked me up! I'm currently weaning my boob obsessed 25 month old. I mean he is so protective over is "kah" (I don't know why on earth he calls it that haha). He has been day weaned for a year now but hugely relys on the nap nurse and bed time nurse. I still had a very healthy supply and would get engorged when I would try before but just started using No More Milk tea by earth momma angel baby and it's a god send! We are on day 3 of slowly eliminating the nigh nurse and morning nurse and it's been interesting! Thanks for this blog, it definitely made me feel like we can get through this!
Jessica Dimas
Kah...hahahaha, that is so cute. That's interesting, I've never heard of that tea. I'm assuming that eliminates your production of milk? I semi-successfully weaned my 3 year old this month and didn't notice any engorgement...assumed since he's 3 that my body has been expecting it to end. Then one day I had randomly engorged veins near the top of my boob! I've nursed him a few times but haven't seen it since. Anyway, I hope your weaning process has gone as soothly as weaning a boob obsessed toddler can go haha, thank you for your comment!
Olivia
Oh my goodness thank you for this!!! I'm trying to wean my boob obsessed 21 month old daughter and I'm glad I'm not alone!!! My 4 boys were no where this hard but my girl is a handful. if I was the only one here I probably could have the backbone to wean her but with 5 other sleepy people hearing her banshee screams, I cave. Wish me luck!
Natalie
This made me laugh, I'm in the Oh hells no stage, yay for me. My daughter slept through the night from 7 weeks old, my son on the other hand has never slept through the night. I'm exhausted lol. Last night was the first night of no boobie (attempt no 4 in as many months) and he woke up every 2hrs crying for it, I caved at 4am hoping we could get some sleep but he woke up at 5.40 ready for the day. No nice mommy tonight-boobie is sleeping! Thanks for the encouraging blog, I'll persevere.
Connie
Hi Jessica, I just came across your blog and never realize that babies can be a boob addict. My baby is only 6.5 month old, and she wakes up every 2/3 hours to feed. I tried to delay and gave her pacifier and it worked few times, but most times she will whine until she wakes up fully. May I know if I can try the night weaning method you used on your toddler on my 6.5 month old? Or is there another method for younger babies? I don't think she'll understand if I tell her no Mimis till sunrise..?
Jessica Dimas
Hi Connie! Sorry to be getting back to you so late. I personally have never night weaned a baby, only toddlers. But your baby waking every 2-3 hours at that age is totally normal and both of my babies did the same, ESPECIALLY when teething or going through mental or physical growth spurts. They actually do need your milk every few hours at that age since their stomachs are so tiny and breast milk passes through so quickly. I know it's really hard and every mom has her own personal situation and limits, so I don't have any good advice to give you other than follow your instincts because you honestly know better than anyone else, even if you feel like you don't!
Connie
Thank you for your reply Jessica, it's good to know I'm not alone. I spoke to many Mommies and most of their babies slept through the night with only 1 or no feed at all around this age, and I thought maybe I am not doing things the correct way! I guess I worry too much.
Tatiana
Hi, I have an almost 3 year old and an almost 2 year old. My almost 2 year old is the one that needs to be weaned but how did you accomplish this with your other son in the same room? Did he wake up too? How did you deal with the crying waking up the other kiddo?
Jessica Dimas
It was SO hard!!! That's why it took me so long to go through with it because of that very reason. My husband would sleep in other room with our older son while I slept in our room with the younger one. Surprisingly most times he didn't wake my older one, which was crazy cause he used to wake up at the drop of a pin. Good luck!
Katie
Wow you are a brave woman! I want to do this but I'm not sure that I can. I've been nursing for six years out of the last eight. My eldest for 13 months, my middle child for 21 months and now my youngest boob obsessed child is 3 and a bit and has no sign of wanting to wean. The older two self-weaned so I don't know how to do this. My little man only night nurses and he does it all night while cosleeping. I'm afraid of tantrums because he'll wake the older two so I mostly give in. I've tried going away for a conference for a couple of days but it only made him more obsessed when I got back. And me more guilty. This is it, you've inspired me to take action for my own sanity! Thanks and wish me luck!
Jessica Dimas
Yeah it was NOT easy night weaning him. He honestly kept waking up to cry for boob once a night well past 3 years old. He turns 4 this week actually and I completely weaned him about 2 months ago. Very heartbreaking and now I can't believe I'm saying it but I slightly miss those nighttime nursings. I used to want to punch anyone in the face that said that to me lol now that I'm well-rested and not breastfeeding for the first time in 6 years, it feels weird. Good luck with your night weaning, I hope it goes smoothly for you and your little guy <3
Shirley
So thankful I stumbled onto this article! My just turned 3 year old is still nursing from bedtime to waking and I'm beyond done with it. In fact, I have strong doubts there's even anything worth her own suckling effort left in my breasts as I can't even get anything to hand express and after the first minute or two of her bedtime nursing it's basically just an exercise in pain tolerance for me. I go to great lengths to ensure that she is absolutely not actually hungry when bedtime arrives and the last couple of nights I have cut her off after it began to hurt and simply sat by her bed until she fell asleep (one of those nights my husband sat by her bed and I left the room) but she still wakes up and comes to our bed in the night (roughly 2am most nights) and nurses for a minute before unlatching and rolling over back to sleep with a repeat of that around the 6am mark. When she wakes up for the day she wants to nurse so I usually let her for a minute on each then tell her 'no more' or 'all gone/empty' and then distract her with a few minutes of one of her little YouTube videos on my phone. lol I think I'll be starting this process today/tonight. 🙂
Shirley
Also, my oldest (just turned 13! lol) basically weaned herself with almost no effort on my part before she hit 2.5 so I've just kept waiting but there's been no end in sight for this one! lol
Jessica Dimas
How's it going with the weaning? She sounds just like my 2 sons were. I just recently completely weaned my youngest a couple months before he turned 4. He had been night weaned all of his third year but was still nursing for his nap. I honestly didn't mind that but I could tell my husband was starting to get annoyed. I think if we lived in the rainforest somewhere away from society I would've kept nursing him for nap lol, but yeah the night time nursing KILLS. I'm such a different mom now that I get decent sleep, I feel so much better! I hope it's going better over in your part of the world too! xo
Miranda
I so needed this article - thank you! My soon to be 2 year old wakes more more than I care to count, and it seems to be increasing as of late. I have to admit, I was kind of hoping he would self wean at some point because I'm dreading the days/weeks of screams. Anyone have a toddler that self weaned? How old? How did it go down?
Jessica Dimas
You're definitely not alone! Neither of my boys ever self-weaned; I had to wean both of them. My first I weaned right before 3 and my second I weaned right before he turned 4. My first was the hardest because he was a couple months shy of turning 3. It actually hurts my heart when I think of it because he wasn't ready but I was the one who was ready to be done. He's a thriving 6 year old now though who remembers none of it, I'm the only wounded one! 😉
Sarah
Hallelujah there are other boob obsessed toddlers who are not self weaning, who are not sleeping much past 2 hours and stuffing hands down tops to even just get a squeeze of sniff of the liquid gold! I'm not sure I'm ready for the trauma that lay before me. I think I may have a couple more months of wait and see hoping for a natural profession? Eek. I wish all you mamas the best of luck and I'll see you all back here in a month or so once my boobs have given up and dropped off!
Jessica Dimas
Good luck girlfriend! Mine never self-weaned so I had to wean him right before he turned 4 lol. He's 4 and a few months now and he STILL stuffs his hands down my shirt anytime I go to hug or hold him. May the force be with you!
Tameka
Oh my! Thank you for this! I have a boob addicted 2 year old! I started weaning right after his birthday, but a couple of weeks later he had a stomach bug and only wanted the boobie! Now I am restarting! And back to the screaming like a banshee! Praying it ends soon! But glad I'm not alone!
Jessica Dimas
Yes you aren't alone Tameka! I hope you're still alive and in one piece over there. Hands down most exhausting thing I've done since becoming a mom, minus maybe the newborn stage??? But this is a brutal exhaustion testing everything you have!
Zel
I know I'm a bit late to the boat... But I found this gem just recently. Thank you for writing the truth!!! Every other blog Ive read on this subject pussy foots around just how bloody hard it actually is to night wean. Ive tried twice now and it lasted a week but I was scarred so couldn't go for round two. Thank for making me realise I'm not alone and I'm not a monster because my toddler is screaming for it! Xxx this has made my week and I'm bookmarking and sending it to my partner!
Jessica Dimas
Yes you are not alone!! It was seriously so freakin hard. My first put up a really good fight for a few weeks but my 2nd child was like, not having it AT ALL. I swear he didn't fully sleep through the night without asking for boob until he turned 3, it was crazy. At least we know that one day our kids won't be quitters when they're grown!
R
Your post has just cracked me up! It's so funny and so true!
I'm still nursing my 19month old son.
I love feeding him but I'm so done with the night feedings. I think I could night wean him if I gave it a good effort but haven't tried yet.
If daddy is home he'll go down for his nap without nursing but if I'm alone with him he has to nurse to sleep.
Did you tackle nap time first or go straight to night weaning? I'm not sure which to do first. Thank you x
R
Your post has just cracked me up! It's so funny and so true!
I'm still nursing my 19month old son.
I love feeding him but I'm so done with the night feedings. I think I could night wean him if I gave it a good effort but haven't tried yet.
If daddy is home he'll go down for his nap without nursing but if I'm alone with him he has to nurse to sleep.
Did you tackle nap time first or go straight to night weaning? I'm not sure which to do first. Thank you x
Jessica Dimas
Yeah that's a hard age to night wean (I feel like any age after one is a hard age to night wean, their memory is too good lol). With both of my boys I did night weaning first and then the nap was the last to go.
Jenny
Thanks so much for this article - it really helped me night wean my 14 month old, who was comfort feeding continuously though the night, only stopping to scream if I dared to try and de-latch her.
It helped because it is completely realistic, with none of the "go and sleep in another room and get your partner to offer them water" bs - as though you live in a 26 room mansion and can't hear the screaming (not that we tried this). And none of the introducing security toys or music or whatever - my little tyke was too smart for that, and either got over stimulated from the sound, or chucked the comfort thing away.
So: night one, demon child. I held her tight, keep telling her "no milk til the morning" and offering her water.
She took water eventually over the next couple of nights, but now (Night 8) just goes back to sleep as soon as it is offered.
I feed her at 6am, and then she will sleep til 9, which is great, since it is winter here in Sydney.
Thanks again - remembering your blog post helped me get through the first nights. And now we sleep.
Jessica Dimas
That is such awesome news!!! Yes, I tried so many night weaning plans and finally was just like, no...it's gonna have to go down like this or not at all. I'm glad to hear you all survived and sleep has finally made it's way into your home! Yay!
Alice
This isn't about the night, per se, though that's part of it but...here's my story. With my 1st son I never got to breastfeed (I had oversupply from pumping to go back to work, and at 4 weeks he gave up on the boob and never went back) (he would scream, hit it, just didn't want to). I pumped for 14 months, which is far more annoying than breastfeeding.
Well, my 2nd, I was DELIGHTED that he was breastfeeding. Leaving the hospital all we got was comments about "that's the best feeder we've ever seen!" Literally, he was on there all the time since birth. Yet he is the smallest of all of my children (except his head), and we thought he had failure to thrive after he turned 2, but he may just be short.
ANYWAY, he would feed EVERYWHERE constantly, and, really, I loved it...up until the 3rd trimester of my third pregnancy. Now, with our 3rd child here...EVERYTHING's changed. It's horrible. Instead of feeding just once or twice like had been, or at night or naps for comfort, he feeds ALL THE TIME, especially when he seems me feeding the baby. I tried to tandem feed (which, oddly, I HATE)...I really thought I would love it but I don't, at all. But after 5 feedings a day, when I know he doesn't actually need more boob - and at times when I am just trying to relax and hold the baby...he goes CRAZY, pawing at my breast repeatedly, or if we are in our family bed, scaling the side of my body he is on, and grabbing at it even if I tell him no 20 times. I'm not proud of this but I have shoved him away saying "get off" - and yet, even with that, he comes right back - with a persistence you can't even imagine.
We had several "lows" besides this. Just before my husband came home, I was trying to teach the eldest, and I was holding the baby in my arms, and he started screaming when I refused him boob. So loud it was scaring the baby. I just locked myself in the bedroom and waited for my husband to come home. He screamed for about 20 minutes pounding at the door for boob and "DON'T LEAVE ME!" It's horrible but I feel like a hunted animal, and that's the only way I could keep the otherwise fussy and disturbed baby asleep. His brother was out there trying to play with him (brother is 4, he is 2) - but he continued all the way till my husband got home.
I see the comforting strategy with otherwise compliant kids but...what do you do with a suddenly hugely loud 2 year old, with a persistence from who knows where...who wants to feed ALL. THE. TIME.
Nighttime...when he's only on there once or twice...is actually my "break" from his otherwise constant pawing and volatility.
My baby is almost 6 weeks old and at "peak crying" so...we have both things going on.
Sam
Aaaaaahhhhh this was so awesome! And so dead on!!! I love that u ladies are out there still feeding those babes in the night after 12 months!! You are all great mammas! I thought my little boob guy was the only one. He literally just wants the boob in his mouth he's not even sucking! And it's been all night long. He's only 16 months but last night we just road out the storm from 12:00am -2:30am. Unfortunately I caved by then. I'm gonna try again tonight.
He's still right there with me. He'snot alone were in it together. I'd just like to sleep. Lol
You are great good job momma
Trista
Hi i just wanted to see how it went with your son. My son is 17 months and I need all the help I can get haha
Elyse
THANK YOU for this so much. It is the first night weaning article I've read that is actually funny! Plus super relatable. My 23 month old daughter is boob obsessed as well. Night weaning has been a joke because I gave in during the horror movie stage. We are sticking to our guns tonight though! I'm done and ready to only nurse her when the sun shines. Fingers crossed over here!
Lauren usher
This is me!
My lb is 13 months this weekend, is it to young to night wean at least? I have started to get some nursing aversion at night, probably because I'm so tired. He wakes hourly and if I try to settle without boob he absolutely screams the house down and we get back arching. The thought of dealing with that for one night, let alone a week or more pains me. He is a boob addict. I cant help but feel I'm mean to start weaning because he's too young to understand or reason with but I'm so touched out. My rship is suffering and I just want a meal out with my partner at night lol! Help....
Elyse
It does get easier in some ways as they get older! A lot of what I have read says to wait until 18 months, so you're almost there!! But you ultimately have to do what is best for you and your family! I love The Milk Meg's advice with night weaning, in addition to this article.
Jessica Dimas
Hi Lauren, what did you end up doing with the whole night weaning thing? I had horrible nursing aversion so I feel you. It's almost unbearable and I'm sure for a lot of women it's completely unbearable because I know there's different levels of aversion. My midwife said if you want to do any kind of weaning, it's actually better to do it before they reach the 18 month mark because then it gets harder to wean. So if you're already having the aversions now, I would probably attempt night weaning so he learns to stop waking up for it.
Hayley
Hi Lauren, did you manage to night wean at 13 months? I have a 12 month old and feel it has to happen now too!!!!
Lauren Usher
Hello. Sorry i didnt get notified of previous replys. Hes 5 now 🙈
I night weaned at 17 months successfully and popped him in his own room. It took about 4 or 5 nights. The first 2 were the worst but i offered water and lots of cuddles. I never left him upset. He did amazingly. I just made sure i wore a high neck top at night so it wasn't almost teasing. They were hidden away. He wasn't quite ready at 13 months x
Erika
Hello! Going to attempt night weaning our 21 month old for the 4,586th time this weekend! We've been successful before but get messed up with cold, teething, vacation, etc. I swear she knows when I'm about to do it and comes up with a great excuse to delay! I do have one question. When I don't offer her "milkies", even if she accepts it, the denial of milk seems to wake her up... sometimes for 2-3 hours. I get worried she is losing so many hours of sleep. Do you think this will get better? Also, has anyone tried night weaning and sleep training at the same time? Too much or does it make it all easier? Have been cosleeping but was going to try the chair/sleep shuffle method.
Jessica Dimas
How did your attempt at night weaning go? I do think the losing sleep for 2-3 hours will get better, but I will say that my son continued to wake up every night and scream cry for boob for what felt like a year. I don't think it lasted more than 20-30 mins but it was still a pain.
Kirsten
This was hilariously familiar...! Of course it's not so funny when you're walking through that season. So, for those of you who have, like I do, a toddler who doesn't fight if he doesn't plan to win... I had to actually hide my nipples with something a little more deceptive than a shirt or bra. (I suppose this is like the moms who throw away all the binkies or all the bottles.) I chose a clear thin bandage material called tegaderm because it is breathable, very thin and clear so he couldn't just find the edge and rip it off and suckle anyhow. I folded my skin around the nipples so they weren't even visible and then taped it that way. I told him his milt was sleeping.
This ridiculous strategy helped a lot. Turns out, a great deal of the tantrums we endured early on we're motivated by a feeling of rejection. Telling him it wasn't there was just so much easier for him to hear than than telling him he couldn't nurse.
Jessica Dimas
I'm late for responding but I just had to tell you this cracked me up. The fact that you had to hide your nipples, omg girl I was dying lol. Also jealous that I didn't think of the same, cause it's true, breastfeeding toddlers are INSANE when it comes to boob, so getting rid of the option of a nipple is BRILLIANT! Great way to avoid a meltdown.
Kristin
And here I thought that I was the only unfortunate soul or had the only boob-obsessed beyond belief boy. We successfully weaned last summer equinox —and it got to the point that ‘cold turkey’ was the only option left. Well, that and a promise of the Hot Wheels Ultimate Garage.
I originally planned to stop feeding and begin weaning when he turned 3 yo. However, my husband of 17 yrs abruptly died. Hence, I put that as well as much of my life, on hold and he breastfed for another year when he was 4 which is almost physically impossible when you have a 40 lb. toddler feeding on demand. Anyways. Breastfeeding is history.
However, he continues to be obsessed with my boobs even though he’s not feeding. He tries lifting up my shirt to say Hi to my breasts, and sometimes teases me by calling me “Moo-Moo” (name he dubbed my milk) rather than "Momma". I have been searching for advice or answers on the proper way to deal with this, but cannot find anything in print. Can anyone recommend or even better relate to try his. Hopefully it is simply a phase since he just stopped drinking mg milk a season ago. TIA for any tips or suggestions. Keep giving your children the best example of developing priceless bonds and teaching them right from wrong. Peace, klr
Jessica Dimas
Hi Kristin, I can relate because I breastfed my youngest one until he was 4 as well. From my experience I definitely think it's a season. The first few months after he was fully weaned, he would still run up to touch the tops of my breasts. Then he stopped doing that but he was still just very familiar acting with my chest. He's now moved on to doing the same as your son. I pretty much just ignore it and he goes on. I figure he's going to quit this in a little bit like he has everything else. I try not to make a deal of anything he does even though I can sometimes feel triggered by it.
Ajla
OMG It is exactly like this...I tried the night weaning with my 18month old...and every night would be like the scenes from Exorcist...and it lasted for 5 months...then I just couldn't do this anymore so I weaned him completely...and just then he started to sleep all night through
Dawn
I'm literally nursing a boob obsessed 2 year old as I read this. My god, I needed to read this!
Janet
Huge sigh. I have TWO boob-obsessed toddlers. And three older daughters whome I all breastfed for over 15 months. So I'm done! I haven't slept through the night in... lost count.
I am desperate to wean them completely (they're 20 months old now). But will probably start with night-weaning first.
Huge mountain ahead. Crying babies is so hard! Don't think there's any other way. Pray for us.
Marilyn
Thanks for your honesty and your insight. It really helps. We co-sleep with our 2 year old he breastfeeds during the day, at night and also wants to be rocked at night to. We are also wanting to move him into his big boy bed, should we completely wean him of breastfeeding and rocking before we move him to his own bed. I'm also due in 8months time?
Thank you
Ani
Wow this is EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight. Plus all the comments from other boob ravaged mummas! We went through the horror film over New Years and he adapted quite well within a few days and was still co sleeping but going upto 6hrs without waking and if he woke we could pat him back easily. But then we go hit with heat waves, gastro and teeth. And now we are back to square one, Only this time he seems onto our plan and has turned up the protest a few notches and i can’t outlast it. He screams, kicks, punches, scratches and throws himself on the floor. I can’t hold him or comfort him other than singing and talking to him and I worry so much I’m damaging him. This has given me hope but it’s so hard!! I desperately need sleep and some boundaries as I’m losing my mind. But I also don’t want to let go of the breastfeeding bond. Argh! Hang in there mummas xx
Jessica Dimas
Ani I totally feel you! Yes, this happened to me too - he would be doing so well and then either he'd start teething or would get sick and we were back at square one. I will say though now in hindsight, because he's 5, he is PERFECTLY fine! I worried so much I would be damaging him but he's not damaged at all. He's super independent, thoughtful and caring of others. We have a great bond and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who remembers those really hard nights. Just always remember that he's yours for a reason; I really do believe they choose us. There is also such a night and day difference when they finally do night wean and you get to sleep through the night. I felt like a different mom. Just know you aren't alone and give yourself grace constantly! <3
Bella
Kudos to all the moms who still wake up every two hours to feed - I don't know how you manage even sometimes until age 3?? We have a 16 month old and have been trying to wean recently and last night was much better. I only had to feed him two times and he slept a longer stretch as a result. isnt it better for everyone if they sleep continuously? Especially after they turn 1, they do not really need to be fed at night and even if I think once before bedtime and once in the middle should be more than adequate. If they are still waking up every two hours it's purely out of habit and not because they need it or they are really hungry. I know this because we left him with my parents for two days and he slept the longest stretch at that time and he has never done that if he knows I'm around. Good luck to all the mommies!!
Jessica Dimas
I don't think any mom is here is asking for kudos for still nursing their toddlers multiple times a night, they're asking for tips on weaning and commiserating with one another about how hard it can be to nurse so frequently. But every toddler is sooooo different! Some wean much easier than others. No one can really say "this worked for me so it will definitely work for you too." And when they get sick, it can take them right back to waking and nursing frequently because it's the only way they're able to sleep and for everyone to sleep, etc. It's just crazy all the things that can delay night weaning. So while I'm sure we all logically agree that it would be amazing for everyone to be able to get better sleep at night, it's understood that when it comes to toddlers, it's not that easy.
Alice
Hi Bella, I haven't commented on this in a year, but, just wanted to point out that your logic is correct (to me)! The issue is...how much of a disruption will it be if the kid tantrums / vocalizes when removed from the boob at night. My middle son is turning 3 soon. I've been struggling for a LONG time to encourage weaning. Especially at night. It has ended in total defeat. I think part of the reason is we do family bed. So I have a 8 month old on one side feeding, and in tandem, the nearly 3 year old, who will otherwise wake up and cry, and wake everyone else up, or otherwise disrupt all of our sleep. We got the coolest, most expensive bunk bed in the hopes the 5 and 3 year old would be OK sleeping there, but that too ended in defeat. My husband is capable of sleeping through it all but for the past several years I've had disrupted sleep with someone adhering to my boob at night. I no longer get up fully, just a few moments here and there to plop the boob in, but it definitely takes a toll. I now get sleep deprivation headaches, but once a week my husband takes the kids to the other bedroom (except the baby), and just suffers through the squalling of boob-deprivation. Hence our Saturday's are sometimes his sleep deprivation day. But we're all wonderfully close! Hope things go better for you, no solutions here! I was briefly mad about it but am just resigned to this reality now.
Franny
Hi, Jessica, thank you for this lovely and helpful post on night-weaning toddlers. I have no friends who are still nursing and I’ve never nursed a toddler before so I don’t really know what to expect when I decide to night-wean him. I think it’ll be difficult. I still cosleep, nurse him to sleep, and nurse him back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I love it and hate it. I’m planning on night-weaning him this spring. So, you nursed him to sleep and then after that there was no nursing? Did you nurse him in the morning? If you could do it again with your youngest, would you do anything differently? I just have this feeling that my toddler will really resist and carry on for a long time missing the night nursings, which makes me feel a little preemptively guilty! Anyway it’s so nice to read that your boys are now sleeping through the night. Hooray! We’ll all be there one day.
Laura Barnett
Oh my goodness this is so refreshing! I'm on night 5 and all hell has broke loose as of last night. Hoping the scary is behind us. Yet knowing its ginna be bad again tonight.....lol boob obsessed at 2 years 8 months and she is not going down without a fight.
Maria
This is my situation! Just I’m also about 32 weeks pregnant and now I am freaking out!!!!! My son is 2 yrs 7 months and he is obsessed. If I tell him no at night he kicks and screams and he also is prone to night terrors (which is probably why I allowed night nursing for so long)
How is your daughter sleeping now?? Is she completely night weaned?
Also, anyone who reads this and has any advice for me, I appreciate it! I’m starting to get so stressed out- my husband put my son to sleep by telling him that I was just going to clean downstairs then come to bed, and the poor boy woke up sobbing for me right before he fell into a deep sleep. I need to do something now before the baby is born because I don’t want him to be jealous of the baby while I have to spend the night in the hospital. He’s extremely happy about the baby and said he will “share” with her, I just don’t want to emotionally hurt him by taking away the one thing that comforts him, which is why I’m leaning towards tandem nursing, but this night nursing has got to stop.
Katrina Hachinsky
Hi! I’m trying to wean my special needs four year old and the fifth night was pure bliss but since then it’s wake up after an hour and become inconsolable and won’t even open her eyes. She’s nonverbal so communication is hard. How long will each stage last before she gives up? Thank you!
Amanda
This is so good! I am on stage three right now! Shit is real!
Amanda Self
I am sitting here tears running down my face reading all of these comments. I am with all of you ladies 3 years 3 months of continual nursing. Nursed through a pregnancy and have been tandem nursing 23 months. I have 5 weeks to have both boob obsessed toddlers weaned for medical reasons (medication needs) and feel so alone and helpless. My husband isn't home for bed time and is little to no help during the night. I am out numbered and over powered most nights. I fight until I literally have nothing else to fight with and then they win. I have no family or friends willing to help. My babies literally don't care what I put on my breasts to try and detour them. I have tried everything even tight clothes they still find a way. I am currently think that suranwrap may be worth a try.
Tabitha
Oh boy, I have been dreading this for so long. But I am at my wits end and really fed up with feeding my 2 year old now. It's got to the point, all the joy is gone and it frustrates me. I had set the boundary of sleep time only, which he was fine with, but then started tricking me with naps during the day, and would pretend he wanted to go to sleep, but after some milk, just get up and play. So this week I am putting my foot down, and its no more mummy milk between 7am and 7pm. I keep telling him he needs to have big boy milk now like his brother, and have a bottle. So far he just refuses to nap, and so waits till I put him to bed at 7pm. So the next stage will be the night weaning. I'm scared!! But it's time!
Lynn
My baby boy will be 7 month old tomorrow, he has been waking up hourly since 3.5 month old(cosleep since birth, tried crib but didn't work out). When he turned 6 month old, there is sometimes 2 hour interval 2-3 times a night. Your story makes me feel better and I am looking for forward to night-wean him around 2 (still almost 1 year and half away).
Thank you for the helpful post, no one seems understand what I am going through around me.
Anna
Did you start with night-weaning? Or did you do his other feedings first? I recently quit my job, and now that I’m home, my 15 month old has to be attached to my “Mimi’s” like, more than 90% of the wakin hours. A lot of times she’s not even eating. She’s just attached. So, I’m not sure which feedings to cut out first, but
It seems like they’ll both be nightmares.
Thanks for your help.
R
Hi everyone, I last commented on this post in June last year. My little boy is now 2 years and 5 months and I think (?!) we’ve stopped nursing.
At 18 months I was the only one of my friends still nursing and this post made me laugh so much and realise I wasn’t alone!
Night time and nap time we’re the hardest for us, my little boy would wake and always want to nurse to sleep. He’s never been a great sleeper so we were up a lot!
I fed him every time he woke but started telling him he could only have a “tiny bit” each time. We got to the point it was just a few minutes a time.
A month ago we bought him a double bed, we told him that he didn’t need to get in mummy and daddy’s bed anymore because he had a big bed too but that if he needed us we’d get in with him. We’ve found we can sneak out when he’s asleep but also if we do stay there’s plenty of room. He seems to have disassociated nursing with the change of bed so at nap time we just read and cuddle.
It’s come as a bit of a shock that we’ve ended nursing so quickly after so long but it’s also happened really naturally. The first time he went down for a nap without milk I cried so much I almost woke him up!!
I think you’re all amazing and doing the most incredible thing for your children. Keep going and know that you’re not alone. All those sleepless nights are hard but so worth it and when they do stop you’ll wonder how it happened.
I hope we’ll be blessed with another baby sometime soon and I’ll be back reading these posts with blurry eyes all over again! x
Cherelle
Hello there!
Thank you for this post - makes me feel a little bit more normal that my experience night weaning seems the same as someone else's ?
I did want to ask some advice though. My little one is two in a few days and we have progressed along with night weaning quite well - he'll sleep with no interruptions for the first five hours or so. But he keeps asking up very early - maybe around 5am, screaming for boob - if he doesn't get it, he'll just stay awake, but if he does he's awake for another 3/4/even 5 more hours!!! How do I fully night wean him AND get all the sleep he wants??
Laura Jolly
Thanks for this!! I needed to read this. Breastfeeding has been one of my most proud achievements because it was so dang hard in the beginning. I wanted to give up, and my dear husband wouldn’t let me. He knew how bad I wanted it. I would’ve never imagined that weaning would be just as hard!! I feel like it will be a proud achievement too. How long after the night weaning was accomplished did you completely wean? Did night weaning make it easier?
Apri
Also glad to see I'm not alone. I needed it this morning. We've been gradually night weaning for a month (son just turned 2), and he has gotten used to not nursing before 5AM, but last night he woke up at 2:40 and only now fell back asleep, at TEN in the morning. I did eventually nurse him around 6:00, but by then he was up and wouldn't settle. I'm worried that all this no-nursing behavior modification is having a damaging effects on his development; I mean, he only slept 5 hours last night! Is this the "scattered storms" phase? Is it possible that he is really just that stubborn??
Courtney
I was so happy to find your page this morning! My sone has been waking up every one to two hours, props to the moms who have been able to go as long as two years but at 13 months I can’t take it anymore. Working twelve hour shifts with no sleep is really starting to take it’s toll. It’s nice very to know that I am not the only one dealing with this. While I’m not sure how much my son will understand with no nursing until morning, I have read in our sleep book that it would be best to go cold turkey if the gradual wean doesn’t work. I was just too nervous to do it. Between his banchee screams and worried about him actually being hungry at night. But gentle weaning has not worked one bit. And while he seemed to go every three to four hours for about a week I feel like hebregressed back really quick and the screams have gotten worse. This post is pretty supportive and encouraging on seeing the light that will be at the end of the tunnel through hell.
Sal
I'm so glad I'm not alone. I only nurse my 15month old at night and naptimes. I really don't want to stop yet, even though I wouldn't mind having my boobs to myself again. However, people keep saying I have breastfed him enough.
He's absolutely not ready to let go as he cries for a long time when i refuse him at night (I went cold turkey on him).
I'm thinking about continuing for now, but reduce the amount of times i give him at night.
Keyona @ professionamomma
I have a 13 month old that’s boob obsessed and wants to be on them all night! I’m ready for sleep for both of us. I don’t think she’ll be able to understand she can’t have until the morning but I have to try something. Thanks for the advice!
Sherell
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom. My little one is 18 months and wakes several times a night to nurse. We co sleep during her naps and in the night. My question is do you think if I wean her from nighttime feedings that it would be okay to continue to nurse her during her naps? She wakes up at least 2-3 times during her nap time.
Camila
I want to know this too!!
Angela
So glad I came across this blog! I can say that I havent been able to talk about breastfeeding issues with anyone. I'm black and it's as if it's frowned upon in our community. EVERY family member told me early on to just give my daughter formula. I exclusively breastfed for the first nine months, then introduced her to baby food. Everyone says that's why she's so skinny, but dude, I'm 5'3 and 105 pounds. I was 98 pounds pre-pregnancy. Now Ryan, my daughter, is almost 20 months. I don't mind breastfeeding, BUT lately she's been biting down when she falls asleep. And, she wants to stay nursing while she sleeps. I've tried the finger method for removing her latch, but it doesn't work sometimes. I'm sad that I have to wean her, but her dad says he wants to sleep again, too lol. Since birth she's fallen asleep either in my boob, or on his chest. Now, I leave them upstairs in bed and go downstairs to sleep, lol. My nipples hurt around the time of my would be cycle. It came back on when she was 9 months, the time I introduced her to food. I went a few months later and got a non hormonal IUD because I still wanted to breastfeed. Reading the comments, I know we're not alone in the night time crying and screaming of, "Tit tit Monmy! Tired tiiittttttt!!!!"
Erin
Thank you so much for this post. It was so helpful to read a post from someone who has done this. I don't really have anyone to talk about this sort of thing with most of my family knows better than to bring it up with me but I know that they don't approve of our extended breastfeeding relationship
My son is nearly 3 1/2, we started co-sleeping mostly by accident while on a family trip shortly after his 1st birthday, at first it was a godsend after over a year I was finally getting sleep at night. However shortly after he turned 3 it started to fall apart but I felt like we were trapped in an endless cycle that I had no idea how to break. I really just needed to hear that it does get better.
We're on night 3 now and I'm really hoping we're reaching a turning point.
The one additional thing from your list above that seems to have helped is that I bought a very tight t-shirt and sleep bra to sleep in to make sure that there was no way in his exorcist worthy moments that he could find a way to nurse
Thanks again!
Sam
So funny! And I plan on doing this with my almost 15 month old. He is obsessed!!! He uses a pacifier to go to sleep? Did you boys? Wondering if I should wean him and keep the pacifier?
KC
y'all ladies!! reading these comments is worse than any scary movie/story i've seen or heard of!! these obsessed boob children are no joke! lol im on the same boat! i have a 19 month old and i've wean him almost all all of the day/morning but still night time continues to be a huge issue! i make sure i give him a snack or sometimes lunch (if its passed his nap time) and he does fine. he sometimes cries when it comes to his nap but i make sure i get him tired (park, dancing, outdoor activities, pretty much anything that drains his battery) before his nap so it wont be so hard on both of us and we have been pretty well. every night he fights his sleep. i do the same thing i make sure he has a nice dinner before putting him to bed so i wont have to offer him "titi" (what we call the boob) and i make sure i get him tired and give him a nice warm shower and sometimes he does fine and goes to bed. its not until the middle of the night (2am-5am) that he wakes up cries like a maniac and we bring him to bed do some titi and goes back to sleep sometimes he just plays around at those hours so what i do is put him back in his crib. sometimes he cries a lot sometimes jut s little and goes back to sleep. but i cant get him off this routine. ughhhh! these kids are so had!!
Kali
Thank You, thank you, thank you! I'm lying here in bed, my LO finally having fallen back asleep after having another mid-night tantrum that has become a new nightly ritual this past week since I've decided to night wean - tears in my eyes, wondering if I've messed my kid up, when I stumble upon your post. Breast feeding was a rough journey for us in the beginning and now she's almost 4 and she's literally in love with the boob... Seriously, she tells them how much she loves them. Anyways, it's so helpful to read your story and others comments to know I'm not alone and that No, I don't need to take my kid to a child psychologist - yet (as I was starting to think the new nightly rages were because I seriously messed her up emotionally). Thank you for posting this as I feel like I can now dry my eyes and go to sleep a little less stressed tonight. Thank you for your courage, honesty, support and compassion.
Sally Smith
Oh the things us moms do for our little ones. My boob obsessed 3 year old now sleeps.. but she was one of these babies. When she was almost 2 and I was pregnant with #2 I had to have a breast biopsy (which thankfully ended up fine!!). But I took this opportunity to "wean" her from comfort nursing. I put very large band aids on both nipples and explained to her that I went to the doctor and had owies and we couldn't nurse. I left them on for a few days and she kept asking about my owies.. for weeks I told her they were still owie but it really only took a couple days. She got it. Instead she would put her hand in my shirt and hold my nipples, which is also quite obnoxious. But that stopped after baby brother was born and now she has found a particular mole on my arm that she likes to hold while she falls asleep. Oh the strange things we allow for our little ones.
Good luck to all of the super loving, committed mamas out there. It's a short window, it will pass.
Maranda Davis
Thank you so much for this article. We are currently in phase 1 and man, its rough. I know this was a long time ago, but how long do you feel like it took to get to Scattered Storms approximately? Just trying to get a sense of what i'm in for 🙂
Gloria
Hahahaha I mean, sitting here sleep deprive laughing at this perfect description of how this really goes. I have weaned my 15 month old from our day feedings going on 3 weeks now and our nights have gone sideways...Well, at least for me. He’s waking up every hour at night to stick to me. I on my daily headaches and tons of sugar cravings due to sleepless nights. Dejavú from 15 months ago woo hoo. I breastfed my daughter and weaned her off at 13 months without a problem, she’s not a 16 year old, but this lil boy here seems to have a tick as a spirit animal. I am just glad to have other mommy’s experience to help guide us through this phase. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Michelle
What do you do with naptime? We’ve mostly night weaned, but naptime is a shit show. I don’t know if I should let him nurse to sleep for naps but not bed. And I don’t know how to make the transition from nursing to bed without a huge meltdown. We’re trying to get dad to do bedtime. We do booboos in the chair and then night-night with dad. We try to reinforce no booboos in bed. But we’re seriously struggling.
Eloise May
Hello all you lovely ladies that have gone through the trauma of weaning way before my little lady was even born. I know this article was posted along time ago but is so relevant to me right now. Im sat here awake since 3am and its now 4:33am, and the screaming had finally stopped! So my little devil, boobie obsessed child is my third, and OMG I had no idea a child like this could even be possible!!! Her name is hallie and 23 months old and she hasnt stopped crying since thw day she was born!!! I had real difficulty breastfeeding her for the first 6 months. She really did just scream all the time when trying to latch - my worse night was her waking at 10pm and non-stop screaming till 6am when my alarm went off to get the other two ready for school. Honestly no kiddin, i really dont know how i got through it with her. Anyway, fast forward to now, She still hasnt slept a whole night, and im so exhausted from her continuously pulling at me all bloody night long. Tonight i had enough and just cuddled her in her own bed (she never sleeps in. Always gets in with me) She was actually ok and drifted off to sleep.... All of 5 minutes as she kept waking to feel my boobs. In the end i was so desperate for a wee i had to get up, Which she followed me and then into my bed. So i try cuddling her in my bed hoping we can fall of to sleep but no! Hallie starts screaming so loud but i just cant give in i feel committed, so i just lay there sshhhing her. Her dad gets woken up, Who decided to take over and take her back to her room where she has been screaming up till now and finally gone to sleep!! Good ol daddy, i will let him have a lie-in in the morning. So anyway, im glad i found this article so it distracted me from going into her room - which i know i blooming well have done. So thank you ladies for keeping me hanging in there on my first ever night of no boobie......... Phew
Shar
My little girl is 16 months old. We co sleep, she has never slept through the night or in her crib (well once for like 4 hours when she was 6 months haha). But thank you for this post. I feel like I’m the only mom doing this. She is completely boob obsessed and dependent on it to fall asleep. Wakes up an unknown amount of times during the night and sucks away until she falls asleep again. She is also very vocal and will throw her head around, scratch, hit, etc. if she doesn’t get her way.
Wondering if anyone else had cavity problems because of the all night long feeds? I noticed a grey spot on the back side of one of her teeth and now I’m worried about that on top of everything else !
Victoria Alvarez
Wow ! Thanks so much for this I still nurse my soon to be 2 year old and he is obsessed I can’t even pee In the middle of the night . He has only
Slept in his crip probably like 5 times in his whole little life and that was probably during the day for nap ! This is super helpful and I’m glad I’m not alone !
Michelle
Let me just say I didn’t want to nurse for two and a half years but my daughter is SCARY!! She hits, kicks, screams and flails in ways I never thought possible! I was only able to BF my oldest for three weeks so in no way was I prepared for this! I took away boobie two days ago and surprisingly she has only put up a minor fight so I am hopeful 🙏🏼 I love the bonding time with her but I am also ready to have my body back too! I’ve tried weaning her several times but she is like a level 10 clinger 😩! Anyway I am sending good weaning vibes to the rest of you Mama’s stay strong! 💪🏼
Christina
Thank you so much for this page. I laughed so hard at the article and many of the comments. I reeeeeeally need to laugh when my basically angelic loving sweet 2 year old during the day turns into inconsolable screamer at night Now I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Deisy
Jessica, I cannot tell you enough how every single word you said completely and utterly resinates with me! The 4am wake up calls, the emotional trauma, and my boob obsessed boy! I’ve never felt more seen by someone that i know has gone through this and has made it to the other side of the tunnel! Right now, I am on day 6 and it hasn’t quite gotten better, but at least I’m not where I was before. Thank you for your words, they truly mean so much to me!
Sydney
I am SO HAPPY I found this and read everyone's comments. In my friend group of moms I am the lone wolf, off doing a different thing. I'm a single mom by choice and used a donor, which already makes me different, and I've always nursed to sleep and bed shared. It's just us and it works. But now it's difficult to end our nursing sessions (he's 25 months) We've cut all other feedings but night time and when we tried last weekend it was HELL. Scream crying until his voice was hoarse, which scared him and he cried more. I've never been a cry it out mom. Hence the bed sharing most of his life. He naps in his bed, and will start out in his bed at night but wake and come to my bed. Cutting out "nums" at night was so incredibly hard on both of us. He finally fell asleep without "nums" on my lap on the wooden floor after about 2 hours. But then he'd wake up sad and pissed as all get out. I kept at it until 2 am when I gave in. It was too upsetting. So glad to know I'm not alone on this treacherous journey, and I'm taking notes reading through this and going to try again while I'm on spring break next month (I'm a teacher). In the mean time he and I talk about how nums are going away soon and will taste yucky. That on top of drinking sage tea, eating peppermint Altoids nonstop and taking Sudafed twice a day (all suggested by his pediatrician) I'm hoping to dry up and he will lose interest. Thank you ladies for all of the tips and support! I wish you all luck
Anu
My little girl (almost 2 yo) is boob obsessed and I am beyond beyond beyondddddd exhausted. So much so that I have negative feelings every time she wants to breast feed, day or night. I saw this post today and I saw the determination you had to somehow night wean. and I just don't see that determination in me. After a horrible night of my daughter feeding all night long, I decided tonight's the night when we put an end to this thing. The first night, i think, went really well. She woke up, asked for boobies, I said no, she cried and wailed and screamed and got aggressive but i kept talking to her, kept explaining to her. Evetually switched on the lights when she finally gave in and asked me to walk her to sleep. But she woke up crying every 10 mins and I had to repeat the process. finally fed her at 6 am. I was so proud of myself and I persevered. and i thought i was ready for night 2. I was not. Night 2, I gave in within 15 mins. could not hear her cry like that anymore and felt like a monster when she started begging. and last night i fed her back to sleep each of the 4 times she woke up. And this morning, i feel like a failure. I feel this will never end. I will never sleep. This was perhaps our 4th failed attempt. I don't know why I am writing this comment, I don't know what I am looking for. Maybe hope? Maybe a magical trick? Maybe just want let it all out? I don't know. But I know that reading this post hit home. I wish I had your courage. Sorry for this very long comment.
Syama
Loved reading this! I am currently going through the weaning process for my biob obsessed toddler who is 2 years and 8 months old. Day time weaning was easier but night weaning is turning into a real nightmare. I am extremely happy to see that I am not alone in this battle and there are many more mother's out there who are going through or have gone through the same.
Syama
Also, I am soooooo happy I found this article!
Katherine Okello
OMG. I am not a CIO mom, and I had thought, oh yeah, he will wean like his brother. His brother was 22 months, and weaned due to me being hospitalized (long story: won't bore you with the dets). He weaned just fine.
But baby no. 2 is 2.5 years old and no longer a baby. Plus, he's got his dad's genes so it's like having a 4 yr old on my boob. He has regressed to the point between 3-5AM he is constantly comfort nursing. This is incredibly hard and we are both sleep-deprived. He is also boob-obsessed and cries, kicks, throws tantrums, hits....
I nursed him through this pandemic because 1. It was pretty much the only way to get telework done, and 2.) it WAS the pandemic. Okay, and 3.) I thought at 2 we would have this bond and then poof! weaning would just happen naturally over the next 6 months.
I thought I had messed up my kid. I am sure my husband thinks this too. But after reading all these comments- some women have tried with their 13 month old, 16 month old...I am convinced it has nothing to do with my decision to nurse him as long and more with 1.) the fact that nursing, even comfort nursing, is soothing and 2.) the perception that something has changed between us and he's like, "hey mom, what gives????!!!"
Mostly, I feel NORMAL after reading this post. And I really want my boobs back - thank you for giving me hope.
Reading ever
Melissa
I have never felt so seen after reading this post and the comments. Currently sitting here rocking my toddler who has finally calmed down after being refused the boob. I have felt so hopeless and exhausted but I am so glad I’m not alone in this!! I was seriously worried something was wrong with him with the way he has been reacting to night weaning. The way you described it is spot on (and hilarious, which is what I need right now). Thank you!!!
Lindsay
Im coming up on 7 years straight and I'm so ready to be done. I even tandem nursed with every child. I only have three so they nursed a long time. My youngest is just over two and I don't think I can make it to two and a half. But she is down to just before bed, but I tell her it's timed. I don't want her falling asleep. When she does she bites down!! But when it's time to get off she screams the blood piercing scream that makes you def. I don't know how to get that to stop! The other two were so much easier weaning! I'm at a loss with this time.
Demetria Champion
So, I absolutely enjoyed your story, it was very informative and relatable. I have tried to wean my now 20 month old son several times this year and I have failed at all cost. I will be trying again this weekend, crossing my fingers that this time it works. I know that feeding is only done for comfort for him, and I give in to his tantrums from exhaustion and because my husband work nights.
jim
Ladies, god bless you all. I dont know how i stumbled upon this article but meu deus Im glad i did. hello from brasil. my baby mamma and I are starting this tonight, my parents told me to just leave her in there for all the crying...but yea I cant handle that and the mamma neither. Were on hour 2 of night 1 and I just got out my shift consoling the crying baby exhibiting many if not all of the horrific crying sights and sounds. I got through it ok, camila is still with the crying but i think as i type this that shes stopped crying, 141AM local time, but we aint greedy its just one round. Abencoes abencoes nope she cryin again
jim
we set up a little mattress next to her crib thats the scene
jim
also you mention stages, how many days did this play out over?
Trish
Omg I literally googled “toddler screams all night for boob” and got your article! Good news is he’s not a psychopath and I’m not alone. Bad news is we are only in stage one. Thanks for sharing. Gonna try and keep snacks and cup close by tonight
Destiny Dean
Omg yess!!!you are not alone!I googled my 18 month old won't stop crying for boob all night😂found this article& so glad I did because it made me feel so much better to know I'm not alone and that my daughter isn't ACTUALLY the devil's advocate 🥴🤣
Amanda Burt
I am so glad I found this as I sit hear and cry. It's been a little over a week since fully weaning my 2 year old. The struggle is real and freaking awful. The screaming and crying once a night for 1-3 hours is awful. I'm glad I'm not alone but holy hell how to get through this....
Ruby
I have a 2.5 year old, who breastfeeds and co sleeps with us. He wakes up every 2 hours or less since the day he was born. I went from working a later shift at work to early and now im dying, I cannot do it anymore and need to do something about this. I am so happy I came across this as I was going to attempt doing this but didn't know how to do it. I am still unsure of what to do but will just give it a shot (winging it). But this article was so helpful and gives me hope. I plan on putting this into action starting the weekend. Any more tips would be so helpful! Im so grateful to have stumbled upon this article. Thank you!
Sarah
I have TWO boob obsessed kiddos. One is 28months and the other 1year.
I’ve almost got the youngest sleep trainee but the older is OBSESSED and cos keeps with us because of her screaming fits. I’m always scared she’ll wake her baby brother because I just can’t get her to go to sleep without the boob. Im just going to have to mommy up and hopefully rip the bandaids off
Lora Ashby
I LOVE THIS BLOG! It made me giggle but I felt like I can relate to so much of this. It makes me feel so much better that I am not alone! I nurse my 23 month old to sleep for nap and bed time. I am wanting to try to wean because I just want to sssllleeeeeppppp! But I am emotional about it🙃
Sara
This post has helped me so much knowing I’m not a lot. I’m trying to ween my 16 month old who is my 4th baby and completely boob obsessed. Refused a comfort item or pasci. He’s on the boob all night. But recently we’ve discovered some cavities on his top teeth that the dentist says is probably from night nursing. Last night was night one and oh man. It was bad. Nursed to sleep but first wake up he screamed for 2 hours. There’s no crying it out for him. I caved after 2 hours of demon child. And he slept until morning. I’m dreading tonight but I’m ready to be not nursing at night.
Erica
I think what is messing with me the most is that night weaning crying is what I imagine withdrawal from heroin to be like. My toddler (20mo) also has this trance like hand massage that she does on my belly and arms when I am side lying nursing at night that frankly is pretty magical. I think the hand movements are very soothing for her on top of the boob. Since night weaning, she not only cries for baboo but also for “elbow” which is the position I put my arm in to hold her and for optimal surface for her little hands to do their trance-like dance. I’ve tried to give her my arms but it’s not the same and she’s pissed and heartbroken. I’m also feeling more blue but I’m not sure if it’s because it’s just a hard process or with nights being so difficult or if I am also going through some kind of hormonal withdrawal?! I’m feeling so much pressure to night wean because my job (elementary teacher) is so demanding that the logic side of my brain is telling me it’s the right thing to do and that I will regret not getting it done this summer before the start of the new school year. The hormonal side is telling me otherwise though. Ughhhhhhhh
Becky
Your article is EXACTLY what’s happening over here with my 22 month old. We are night weaning bc he has regressed to newborn night feedings. It’s insane bc he wants to be patched ALL night long ask if the sudden.
Going into night 7 and will say, night 6 was a lot better. But this whole week the days have been so rough bc little guy is throwing unspeakable tantrums at the drop of a hat. I’m guessing the night weaning ordeal is affecting him. Did yours go through some daytime tantrums and outbursts and how long did it last?