Finally in the last home stretch, feels far away while also uncomfortably close. The holidays will probably make the time go by fast. My little boy is moving so much, it feels like he doesn’t ever take a break. I think he’s going to be quite the opposite of Piggie Smalls, who never moved this much. Piggie is much more timid and laid back, so I could be wrong but perhaps this baby will be less of those things! Probably a good thing for him since he’s gonna have an older brother picking on him.
I’m still nursing Piggie, which I have to admit is the last time I ever nurse through pregnancy again…if I ever have another one. I’ve heard a lot of moms say that, and now I definitely understand why. It’s not only draining physically, but emotionally as well. I have all sorts of guilt; his milk drying up, snapping at him because of the aversions, cutting his sessions short or flat out denying him because I just don’t. want. to. be. touched. I feel really guilty and scared that I’ve messed up his nutrition since he’s not getting my milk. I wanted him to have it until at least 2, and he probably hasn’t had it since he was 18 months.
I cried at my midwife’s appointment this past week. Luckily I have a midwife who has had 7 children and has “been there done that”; she understands! She shares her experiences and it makes me feel so much better, partly because I see that it’s normal. It makes such a difference when someone who has been in your shoes before tells you that everything is going to be okay.
This week we got a few baby items delivered: the carseat, swing, and my birthing pool. Eeek I’m so excited to give birth in water this time! I wonder how much of a difference it will be. I’ll let you know when I find out haha!
I want to really take advantage of these last few weeks that I have with just Piggie and I. It’s been me and him for the last two years, and much of it was when Luis was working crazy long hours and we spent the entirety of our days together. It’s really been a special two years in my life…becoming a mother and all the excitement and learning that that brings. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been <3